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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice - date organised, no communication since?

22 replies

wildwest · 30/09/2014 20:54

Not sure how to play this one. Met a guy Sat night. Really got on. He seemed lovely, we swapped numbers. He text me the next day and asked when he could see me again. After a few messages on Sunday we organised a dinner date for this Friday. Nothing since. Should I text? Should I not text? I'm not really used to this. Surely if he was interested he'd be in touch??

OP posts:
pippinleaf · 30/09/2014 21:09

Who sent the last text between you? I'd think it was odd if you sent the last text and he hasn't replied... Unless there was nothing in the text for him to ask about/ say anything about? If he sent the last text then you can text back with something - maybe something funny about your day?

PollyIndia · 30/09/2014 21:11

Have you not arranged a date? In which case I would expect him to be in touch to arrange where to meet tomorrow or Thursday. If you haven't heard by Thursday early evening, I'd text and say just checking arrangements for tomorrow.
I am not one for lots of texting when I have just met someone though!

wildwest · 30/09/2014 21:12

He sent it - just a smiley face and two kisses. Always kind of feel like the guy should make the effort. Silly? Shall I just text then? I'm just used to a guy being more proactive??

OP posts:
Heyho111 · 30/09/2014 21:16

I'd send one simple text. Something like. Hi , I hope you're still on for Friday. If so where shall we meet. X
It won't hurt. Maybe he's thinking you're not interested as you haven't replied to his last text.

LoisPuddingLane · 30/09/2014 21:23

To be fair though, what can you reply to a smiley face and two kisses?

pippinleaf · 30/09/2014 21:31

I agree. - there's not much you can say to that. Maybe send him a smiley tomorrow hoping his day is going ok? Just keep the chat open. If it's hard work then it doesn't bode very well for the date. Saying that, my husband was very poor at texting and i was used to people who'd text me lots so I thought he wasn't interested. He hardly texts anyone ever which I didn't realise at the time.

wildwest · 30/09/2014 21:37

I mean I'm not investing loads here I know it's just a date but usually a guy texts me! Haha. I've just not had this before. Pippinleaf - that's how I feel ... Like he can't be that interested. I have a friend who thinks play it cool at all times. I know he's bust tomorrow so if I haven't heard by Thursday eve I'll send a little message about our date Friday. Dating - such hard work! I guess sometimes we expect the responses our girlfriends give us!

OP posts:
wildwest · 30/09/2014 21:37

Busy. Not bust!

OP posts:
Dirtybadger · 30/09/2014 21:41

If the date is arranged why do you need contact? I would just confirm Friday AM/afternoon?

Maroonie · 30/09/2014 22:43

Yeah I think just leave it til Thursday/Friday and then confirm date plans. I'm wary of too much texting before dates, I think it speeds everything up and makes it feel Like things are further along than a first date. Maybe just from my own bad experiences though...

Momagain1 · 30/09/2014 22:51

If you have only just met, and organised a first date, i wouldnt think there is a great need for lots of contact. Text conversation is risky with people you know well, and you dont know each other at all. I would think that touching base mid-week and day of would be plenty.

Just because we can be in constant touch, doesn't mean anyone really needs to.

Cricrichan · 30/09/2014 23:58

He's organised to see you on Friday. Maybe he doesn't know what to text you in between because you hardly know each other so doesn't know how to play it.

But if you want, just text that you're looking forward to Friday or somethingm

handfulofcottonbuds · 01/10/2014 00:38

What about a text like, "hey, how are you doing? [smiley face] xx"

Viviennemary · 01/10/2014 00:45

I think I'd just send a smiley face and one kiss and let him be the one guessing what you mean.

handfulofcottonbuds · 01/10/2014 00:47

Sometimes it's best not to over think things Smile

yougotafriend · 01/10/2014 06:56

I'm 48 and didnt dating pre mobile technology.... A young guy in work once said to a couple of us oldies "so what did you do? Just make arrangements and hope the other person turned up?"..... Err..... Yea.....

In some ways it was easier than the overthrowing that texting brings

yougotafriend · 01/10/2014 06:57

**over thinking

niceupthedance · 01/10/2014 07:23

I don't expect chit chat between agreeing to a date and making the time/place arrangements a couple of days before. All that 'how was your day' stuff feels contrived and puts me off! If you've not heard by him by tomorrow eve I would send a 'still on for x' text. If I really liked him. If I was not bothered I'd leave it to see what he would do.

wildwest · 01/10/2014 20:51

So - I just left it (sat on my hands so as not to text) and this morning around 11.45 got this ' Hi - not wanting to look too stalker like ... Are you still free Friday? X '. Haha. I guess I was overthinking!!!! :-)

OP posts:
Vivacia · 01/10/2014 21:08

Well done OP. Just be wary about game playing. I'm not saying he is, but it'd be on my radar.

Now. What are you planning on wearing... Smile

wildwest · 01/10/2014 21:16

Don't they all game play?? It's so tiring! Maybe as has been said he's just not one for texting?? I'll find out more Friday!!!

Tried on a gorgeous teal dress today! Will be purchasing tomorrow!! Black tights, ankle boots (the heel type!). My hair was straight when he met me but it will be naturally big and curly!!??? I've asked him to meet me outside! :-)

OP posts:
handfulofcottonbuds · 01/10/2014 22:32

I don't believe they all game play. I do think though that if I want to text someone, I'll text them and not think about it too much.

Let us know how the date goes Smile

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