Evening out arranged, just a local restaurant, not boozy, just a nice meal with 4 friends.

[jimijack]

We have known each other for a number of years. We get together every 3/4 months or so.

We all have children.

One of the friends told me the other day that her dh has suggested that she bring her toddler to the evening out. Reason being, none of us has seen the toddler for a while. He thinks it would be nice for us all to see & spend time with the child.

So I said that this is not a good idea. She was a little taken aback & I suspect, offended.

That was that really.
I'm right right?

I still don't know if she intends to bring little one, I know for a fact that 2 of our group will not go if they knew this.

I so look forward to these evening's, it's a break from kids tbh, it's catching up with great friends who are great company.

Hate to think I have upset her & ruined things.

What would you have done?

She should be more offended that her twat of a husband doesn't want to look after his kid of an evening.

Make it double clear, this is an adult evening.

I'd pull out if someone said they were bringing their toddler. That is what play dates are for.

Personally, I think it's fine if a couple want to go out to dinner and take their little darling with them. I don't think it's fine to inflict them on my friends who are looking forward to a rare kid-free evening.

I'm not po-faced about children being taken out to dinner but I know that when mine were toddlers, I absolutely relished adult dinners out. Once someone brings a child, the dynamics change entirely and to be honest, not for the better if what's been planned was an evening with friends minus children.

"He thinks it would be nice for us all to see & spend time with the child."

I've never heard such bullshit! Can't believe your friend fell for that.

I'm really shocked that you don't want the toddler at your meal!
After all you are female and should all jump at the chance to spend time with her precious over tired, yapping, crying little bundle of joy. it's all women dream about after all.

At least I'm assuming that's what her arsehole of a husband thought when he came out with that crap about spending time time with her child. thanks but no thanks.

She sounds psycho.

He is a wang.

Evening dinners are for grown ups, playdates are for toddlers. Theres no way on earth id give up my rare toddler free evening to sit in a restaurant at a table with someone elses toddler or baby.

Id happily rearrange and go to their house for a take away or similar if babysitters had fallen through (eg) but would assume baby would be in bed.

Tell the other mates. Make sure they emphasise that it is adults only.

I'd be even more pissed off if I'd gone to the trouble and expense of getting a babysitter (assuming dh wasn't around) for a child-free evening, and then discovered I was expected to play peek-a-boo with someone else's child all evening.