Does the suspicion ever go?

[polymath]

Pretty much what it says, really. We went through a rough patch (to put it mildly) about a year ago, it's mostly ok now, but I hate having the urge to check her Facebook page or get annoyed when her phone goes straight to answer phone.

what did the "rough patch" entail ?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a1972340-Partners-likely-infidelity#44746135

Ah, ok

No, it will never go away because you have been lied to and acted like a doormat

I am not surprised you feel the urge to check. She never came clean, and why would she ?

Stop being such a sap, and your life will improve immeasurably

No, it doesn't go away.

You'd be better off getting out of it and having the life you deserve. No one is so amazing that they are worth putting up with this for.

What I said to myself, and what I have said to others on here and IRL is this.

Think back to the small boy you once were. The one who had all the hopes and dreams of his future. Is this the marriage you thought you'd have? Is it the future relationship you would wish on that boy? Doesn't he deserve better than this?

It never goes away. Once they've done something to break your trust you never get it back.

I first found texts from my exh to another woman in 2003. I told myself it was a one-off and tried to forget it. I used to try to check his phone but he always deleted everything after that. Eventually i stopped trying to check & things improved a bit.

In 2009 things got bad between us again and again I found texts & calls. This time I told him to leave but took him back a week later. As much as I desperately tried to forget it all it ate me up inside and I never ever forgave him.

I struggled on for another pitiful 4 years and then could take it no more. And yes found even more texts right up until he left. He never stopped.

Don't let it last as long as I did, it will destroy a part of you and you'll never get it back. It's seriously damaged me, I really wish I'd ended it much sooner.

are you going to listen to us this time OP ?

I read your last thread. I wouldn't trust her. You say about having the urge to check her Facebook etc. the onus is on her to rebuild the trust and make herself totally open and accountable, not on you to maintain her privacy. A cheat loses their right to privacy. A sorry cheat would make themselves totally accountable. Does the suspicion ever go? 1. Depending on the accountability side, in time maybe? 2. With a gullible partner, yes