Going round in circles

[beautifulhostage]

My name on here is what he recently called me btw ... so after the last few months being in a on/off relationship with my long term partner i feel like nothing is ever going to change i dont think he realises what he has done in the past is wrong so wrong to the point that i left him. He called me awful names in the past and at one point went crazy and tried to throw me out the house, we made up and then months later it was worse behaviour including physical . Recently we have had a chat and i have tried to say are we just kidding ourselves in thinking we can try to make it work. i cannot forgive him for certain things he done because it changed the way i feel about him i no longer am in love with him , but i love him as a person. i dont want to waste years of my life being unhappy and pretending i am happy but because he is all ive known its very difficult, i dont want to lose him, he has been very unpredictable lately and unfortunitly i was on the recieving end of a slap in the face yesterday.

It's you and only you that can stop this abuse. It's not going to get better, only get worse. He won't change. What are you waiting for, for him to beat you black and blue.
I have just been on the receiving end of DV and the horrendous fear that it brought to my life. He wasn't anything to do with me even, he was my daughters bf but he has destroyed so many people's lives.
For god sake just get some strength and get this piece of shit out of your life. I am getting so exasperated by women who keep allowing men to treat them like this. I know it's so hard for many women to escape DV but you are almost out of the relationship but you choose to go back. Get the hell out as by staying with him you are indicating loud and clear that it's all ok.
I have had my life destroyed by DV, please, please don't let him destroy your life too, because he will if you allow him to.
You don't want to lose him? For god sake why on earth do you want this bloody vermin in your life?

I'm sorry you're in an abusive relationship. You have options. You don't have to live with more abuse. If you called the police DV team on 101 they'd arrest him for assault. If you called Women's Aid 0808 2000 247 they'd advise you how to get out of this relationship safely.

Do you have any friends or family you can call on for support? Are there children in the house.

Btw... If he has referred to you as a 'beautiful hostage' that is truly sinister. A hostage is someone kept chained up under threat. Someone with no rights and no respect. He sees himself as your captor, your jailer, and not a partner. If that is his fantasy he is dangerous

Women's Aid 0808 2000 247

Please get help

You can "love him as a person" from a distance. A very great distance, preferably.

He's physically abusing you because he can. Because he thinks you'll stick around and take whatever it is he gives you. It's doubtful that it's anything to do with you personally, and everything to do with him and how dysfunctional he is.

If he's been unpredictably lately don't wait around for more of the same, or worse because it will get worse, I promise you.

Do you have any family or friends you can confide in, or who would offer you support to get out of this abusive situation?