How to come to terms with the fact that your partner seems to hate you.

[textingdisaster]

My relationship with h has had many ups and downs and issues. He is currently ostracising me after a bad argument a week ago. His behaviour and how he talks to me can only mean that he doesn't love me. Yet he is not doing anything towards ending our marriage.

I can't get my head round what seems to be his dislike. How do you come to terms with this.

By refusing to pander to someone else's behaviour and taking control of the situation yourself. If he treats you as if he has no respect for you, then he probably doesn't.

Rather than wringing your hands and waiting to see what HE wants to do, tell him the way he has been treating you is unacceptable and that you deserve better. Therefore, you want a separation.

Don't just sit around tolerating this crap.

Why would you try?

Of course he's not ending your marriage, he's got what he wants without the bother and expense of the legal process. He doesn't actually hate you, he just wants a whipping boy. (And no, he doesn't love you either - if he cared about your feelings he wouldn't choose to trample over them).

Why don't you tell him that unless he stops acting like a child you will consider the marriage over?

Why is the onus on him to end the marriage?

He is treating you like somebody he dislikes. Why on earth stick around?

This is your life. If there is someone in it bullying you and making your life miserable, don't wait for them to decide if they're going to dish out more of the same. They're not Lord and Master.... If it's over, decide it for yourself. Get legal advice and good luck

I think you would do better to ask yourself what are you getting out of this relationship. If you think he hates you, why stay?

Out of guilt, fear and the mad thought that behind his behaviour there is real love .

This thread will give you the same answers as your other one

When you realise your partner hates you, it's time to end it

What are you hanging on for ?

I want to know why he feels like that and what I have done to deserve it .

I suppose I don't think it's fair.

It's not fair. You'll probably never know.

Now what will you do?

You haven't done anything to deserve it. He treats you like shit because he feels like it. No more, no less.

Hes taking advantage of you... He does it because he knows you will put up with it.

He's punishing you because he's a twat. You probably haven't done anything to deserve it other than being the one conveniently closest at hand.

Why should you come to terms with your H disliking you? You are supposed to be in a loving relationship not living in a war zone.

You haven't done anything to deserve it - if it wasn't you it would be some other poor soul he was treating like crap. You won't ever get any sincere explanations or apologies and once you come to terms with that, you can start to emotionally disconnect. Good luck.

I left him OP. You may have to do the same.

Actually, this reminds me of a lovely phrase an ex of mine used many years ago:

"If you kick a ball against a wall, it comes back to you"

Guess I was the ball! Unbelievable.

behind his behaviour there is real love

Would you ever treat the people you love this way? No. There's your answer then.

He does it because you let him. Sorry, it's not your fault but you do have other options. You are choosing to stay with him and allow him to do this to you.