Advice please ladies ..

[driver68]

Hi, I am hoping someone can help me understand, I am a single man and was introduced to a single mother by a friend of mine about 2 months back. They had slept together a few times previously with each one weeks or months apart and according to John he is not intending to visit her again and has told her such.

The conversations we have are on a completely different level to anything I've experienced before and she feels the same. We have been out on over a dozen "friend" dates including five with her eight year old daughter who seems to like me too and I stated pretty early on I would be more than happy with more.

She has stated that she wants to keep it at "just friends for now" I'm not an idiot and know that I am now in the friend zone for life, I can accept that, hard as it is, her friendship for the connection we have will need to be all there is, here's where I need some help in understanding.

She is totally besotted with my friend who treats her (and other women) like complete dirt, he will ignore her texts, her calls and has even ignored her in the street. He has five women on the go and treats every one exactly the same. This woman knows that he is running around with other women and treating them the same. He's told her there's no future for them and that he is no longer interested, however she is convinced there is.

So, why do women let themselves get treated like a door mat like this ? I've tried to get her to explain it to me but she can't but assures me it's not a sex thing. I have my own company earning enough to provide her and her daughter with a comfortable life but for some reason she wont accept my friend wants nothing more to do with her.

Thanks for reading and replying if you do.

Probably best not to put names in your post, I've reported it so MNHQ can anonymise it.

You really shouldn't be putting peoples names on here.

Instead of asking why women put up with this. Maybe ask your friend why he thinks it is acceptable to treat people like shit? Why are you even friends with him?

My advice would be, don't get embroiled. As Lem said, if your male friend is such a tosser with women, do you really want to be friends with him? it sounds like you're still trying to persuade your female friend to hitch her wagon to yours - undignified!

The irony appears to be lost on you that you are unhappy hanging around someone that is stringing you along..... and you're asking why a woman would want to pin their hopes on someone who doesn't seem to care. People often want what they can't have. You think if you hang around this woman long enough she'll realise you're not just friend material. She's hoping for a similar conversion

All sounds incredibly immature and desperate. Your 'mate' ....well he isn't one really is he....Sounds like a complete twunt. Nice of this woman to bring her dd along to meet you

If you figure out why you are content to hang around her when she clearly isn't interested then you will have your answer.

I do hope they are made up names. You have indeed answered your own question.
I am the other hand am well and truly single. if you wish to direct your energy elsewhere. .

I stopped paying much attention after you used the words "friend zone".

Your friend will be someone who is very good at manipulating people, confident, charming, and a complete cunt.

The women will fall for the first three and then be blind to the last one.

Hello everyone. Just a note to let you know we have edited some posts in this thread to remove names that may identify people in real life.

Hi driver68 You are definitely in the friend zone, but you can get out of it. Stop texting, chatting and contacting this girl - effectively like your friend is doing - but without the cruelness that he is inflicting. Think about it, how many friends do you need? If you don't need any more, then let this girl get on with drooling after your mate. She may even start thinking about you again, but don't let her contact you just to moan about your mate! Tell her you aren't prepared to be second best to a complete twunt when you could offer her so much more.

Good luck

Have to agree with Cogito can you not see the irony?

You are asking her why she is waiting around for someone else and won't accept there is nothing there for them while she has told you she doesn't want a romantic or sexual relationship with you but you are waiting around for her?

You are doing exactly the same as her.

As you want her to stop being a door mat for him why don't you stop doing the same for her?

Why many woman seem to drool over these wretched men (that are often referred to as 'bad boys' ) is totally beyond me. My 22 year old son is now giving up on being the nice guy to the ladies because, he says, all that so many of them seem to want is to be treated meanly.

You can think about your situation and analyse it until the end of time OR you could just put this one down to experience, move on and look for a lady who does want what you are offering.