Dumped again...

[QuiteSo]

So earlier this year my husband dumped me for OW.
This summer I began dating an old friend. He recently moved to another city with his job and kept inviting me to come and stay with him. So this week I emailed him about exact dates so I could book train tickets etc.
He replied he's already met someone else so I shouldn't come after all.
So now I'm lying here unable to sleep and imagining him in another woman's arms and my STBXH also lying in another woman's arms. I'm alone in bed except for my daughter's teddy.
I know breakups happenbut i feel shit. Ans wise words oft advice?

I don't ever offer advice but it seems to me that you are too good for both of them. This means you can find someone who deserves you and not waste your time with either of these people.

It doesn't sound like the old friend was really that interested. His loss though.

I'm going through similar. Sucks, doesn't it. I find myself thinking "what's WRONG with me". Apparently I'm abhorrent to men.

Sorry I can't be much help.

I'm going to focus on my children and work and home.

And either buy a new vibrator or use NSA sites. :D

Another here who can't help but feel abhorrent to men... no kids last night. Had a lovely evening with my friends. But feeling lonely now. I have recently been dumped but it is getting better. .

I had a very similar thing happen over 8 years ago. I then met my current partner and built a life with him. Last summer I got a message from the first guy saying 'I was the one' I was everything to him so I said bullshit. He told me, he thought I wasn't that interested so just found someone else to get over me. All a bit of a joke really.

It could be something like that but either way your guy is a complete dick and you deserve better. It won't be long til you meet someone who truly deserves you and compliments you as a person, not who drags you down

The weird thing was that the old friend had issued several invitations for me to visit, and then when I asked him a bit later he'd already met someone else! (Or was lying and just wasn't that into me).
Oh well, life goes on I guess, but as a 40 year old single mum I don't really have men queuing up to go out with me... :(

I feel your pain. . 42 here..

I know how you feel, 5 years single, tried and fail, cant be arsed anymore, at 31 i've hung up my love life.

Honestly OP. Don't feel bad. The chances are he's done you a favour if he is that flaky.
You will meet someone nice and now you're free to so that's a good thing, right?

'I've hung up my love life'
thats really funny. .. and tragic.

OP.......if your old friend was really interested he would have come to you. Nothing would have stopped him. He was probably just looking for a dirty weekend and you have saved yourself heartache here.

Oh dear ....... these things are sent to try us hey! Does he have children? Probably not if he was just able to move away with his work. Was it ever going to work tho - if all it could be is long distance?

If he doesn't have children then really he should have been arranging to come and see you - seems a little onesided if I'm honest.

He does have kids but they live in yet another city with his ex wife and her current husband. I think the most likely reason is that he couldn't be bothered with the long distance thing and looked for, and met, a local woman.

I think part of the reason I'm upset is that it was my first post-separation relationship/fling and also I did genuinely like him. I guess he wasn't all that interested after all.

Glad I can still make people laugh Frog

But to be fair .................. a little harsh if he was a friend - where does that leave your friendship now? Over with I'd say, not much of a friends to tell you so abruptly by email - seems very cowardly.

My ex has started a new relationship which is long distance (2-3hrs away) and it really doesn't work well for the children. I'm pretty sure he would prefer a local girlfriend - and I reckon he's just having his ego stroked (men seem to need that) at the moment until a local one appears on the scene. Long distance doesn't work with children - I reckon he's done you a favour - you would exhaust yourself with trying to make arrangements for your DD whilst you go on a visit.

I totally get why you feel so crap. Sorry x

Well, the idea was that I would visit on some weekends when my kids are with their dad. I quite often go away for the weekend to visit friends, so I was thinking of a kind of friends with benefits thing. It's a moot point though as he's made it plain in the e!ail he doesn't want me to visit because he's found someone else. That's his prerogative but I just feel shit and a fool.