Nct friends- are they ever more than fair-weather friends?

[Allymint]

I guess I'm lucky that my nct group is still going after 2+ years but I'm really struggling to weigh up whether it is emotionally healthy for me to stay friends with them. I have recently had a second baby and most of them know I have been struggling with pnd. I don't drive and don't have any family or lifelong friends nearby so I have felt very isolated. They have all had a lot going on too, moving houses and now a few others have second babies or are expecting. So I can understand why we don't meet very often and I don't hear from them much, although I thought they might be a bit more interested in seeing my new baby. I feel like they still do a great job of celebrating eachother's good news- we've just had a flurry of emails congratulating one lady on her engagement and we recently had a baby shower for one of the mums. But when I mentioned that I have been really ill for 3 days with a tummy bug and that I couldn't eat for two days but was still having to be up all night with the baby I didn't get a single reply. I feel really hurt. I always feel confused about where I stand with them. It's not like I am always negative and down which I know can send people running for the hills. I get on fine with them all in person but now we hardly see eachother I feel like they only care about themselves. We were all so intensely supportive of eachother in the early months with our first dcs I find it strange that they can all sink back into being fair weather friends. I keep thinking I should do the same and just go along to meetups and have fun but keep my problems to myself but that's just not in my nature. So should I cut and run? Is it just easier to reply to good news than bad? Surely a "get well soon..." email is as easy as "congrats..."??

Let them go, you will make more compatible and life long friends in the school playground in my experience. In the meantime mums and tots or even coffee mornings will give you ample opportunity to make friends

I think some people in that kind of group will gel and make real friendships, but for most people it fizzles out once people start going back to work and meetups get harder to organise. I found it very strange - you come together at a time of massive change, and (for us, anyway, as hardly any of our friends had children) you rely on each other a lot for company and advice sharing in the early days. But you're thrown together by circumstance. Some people you would get on with however you met, other people you find you have little in common with outside the fact you have similarly aged children.

Thanks- that's what I needed to hear. Glad to know there's hope for making better mum friends in the future. I've been reluctant to let them go as I haven't managed to get close to many other mums locally but I guess that will be easier when my babies are less full on!