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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just need to get it off my chest - sorry veeery loooong, an essay

15 replies

Monny · 26/09/2014 21:57

Last year my OH cancelled my pension and I found out via the post. Apparently I don't care about financial matters and he decided all payments would all go to his pension so we'd both be better off financially. At the time he started saying (amongst so many other things) that am not contributing financially. This particularly hurt. I am a full time mum to his two kids. First time round, I got pretty depressed (he was not the most supportive of husbands to say the least - I am being very kind in this description and lay in to me verbally on many occasions because 'I am too difficult').

After my experiences, I was ready to leave it at one child and go back to work. After a while he started pleading for a second child (think of child no. 1 growing up alone, etc.) OH's behaviour improved and he eventually won me around. I agreed on the proviso that he would be more supportive and understanding the second time around... He promised. Was he? Hell no. Then my mum died when baby no. 2 was a few months old. He did some outrageously insensitive things (I won't say what for anonymity because my OH is so unique) and basically let me struggle with sleep deprivation, an extremely high maintenance baby and grief - 'because I can't be helped when I'm like that'. I was so miserable and alone that I wanted to die too, but couldn't because of the kids and couldn't do that to them. Most people won't know how miserable I was as I am good at 'looking happy'.

When I received my inheritance (not vastly huge), I chose to put it in a savings account because it seemed the sensible thing to do when I was too exhausted and messed up to think about what might be appropriate. He hit the roof and called me all sorts of things including "You were charmed by the first young bank manager you saw". I wasn't. I struggled on my own with demanding baby around the banks and actually got a better savings rate than he did against the April cut-off. He felt I should have put it in the mortgage. Maybe I should have, but I just wanted to wait until I could think (screaming baby + little sleep + zero emotional support + zero break from baby + plus grief = brain a mess) and then I may well have put it in the mortgage. I just needed to think what would be right in my mum's memory. He could never take the baby for any period and still struggles with him now at times. I was overloaded.

He then went on to tighten all the house-keeping, saying that we were over spending. Meanwhile, he bought himself an expensive watch, made us take a silly number of holidays, and bought various other expensive items. I also happily lent him some of the money. He also bleated more and more about he earns the money, I am not contributing and then that letter about the pension came out of the blue. After another blow-out he agreed to restart it a half of what it was before. He also said I should get a job 'like other women'. I told him I'd given up my career and trusted him as we'd decided on a stay at home mum until kids were at school. Anyway, I got a job (yes, he's zapping that income too) and he thinks it's a shame child no. 2 is in day care (go figure).

To be fair, in the past I have told him that his (emotionally abusive) behaviour is making me miserable and I have got to the point where I have packed a suitcase a few times, but never left as I didn't really want that and he made up. However he recently confessed that he wasn't willing to pay the pension of a wife that wants to leave him (but he's happy to have her child care and make her miserable).

After this confession and he's stopped contributing to the housekeeping (I am not contributing, yet over a £1000 of my meagre salary has gone on childcare and I need to save to fix my car which he won't pay to have fixed), I have got to the point where I am going to leave (just need to work out how and how to keep my job). I've stopped my contributions (cooking for him, washing his clothes, etc.) Anyway, today he's stopped my pension again and is no doubt seeking a 101 other ways to hurt me financially as I type. I am scared yet somehow beyond caring. I just hope I can get out of here somehow.

Thanks if you've read my ramblings this far. I guess I just needed someone to talk to Thanks

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 26/09/2014 22:13

Fuck him, and fuck his despicable controlling and punishing spiteful behaviour over your pension.
Love, have the last laugh. Go see a solicitor tomorrow and take the first steps towards having half of "his" pension transferred to you in your divorce.
See how he likes them eggs.
What a total pig he sounds.
Please talk to Women's Aid about financial abuse.

Monny · 26/09/2014 22:21

Thanks for reading Cabrinha (so long you need a diploma at the end) and for the company. I am going to the CAB on Wednesday, just hope I can hold on until then. Thankfully I know a nice solicitor (divorce is only option really). Somehow, I need to work out how to go with the kids (he's unlikely to leave), keep my part-time job (small salary), keep the kids in their school/preschool (near impossible). Flibber as to a solution so far. Just hoping CAB might be of help.

OP posts:
UpUpAndAway123 · 26/09/2014 22:26

FWIW you are definitely doing the right thing and although it will be hard, you can do this!! I can't offer much practical advice sorry but others will x x

PinkSquash · 26/09/2014 22:31

Can you speak to Womens aid too?

How does he stop your pension, does he pay for it and whose name is it in? He is an utter bastard OP.

MrsMinton · 26/09/2014 22:32

You deserve much much more than being treated this way. I hope you can get some advice to help you leave this abusive man and be happy.

Monny · 26/09/2014 22:49

Thanks for all your replies and taking the time to read my epic ramble - it's helping Flowers
PinkSquash, he pays for it or he stops and then puts the money in the pension in his name. He owns me and he knows it. He sees everything as his - the house, the income, etc. He treats my contributions as full-time mum as more of a financial drain on him in spite of him agreeing to a full-time mum and wanting a second child. He says I spend too much - believe me, I am no big spender but kids costs add up (birthday party presents, clothes, clubs, activities food, food fads, nappies, etc.)

Maybe it is me. Maybe I am somehow psycho cow no. 1, but I can't live like this. Since I have made the decision to somehow go, I feel strangely calmer. Before I would have been in floods of tears. Not so dented this time, in spite of PMT. I am somehow getting emotionally untethered?

OP posts:
Nevertriedapickledegg · 26/09/2014 23:07

Oh God, he sounds awful to live with. Very controlling and manipulative. Your post actually struck a chord with me - my mum wants to retire as she's now retirement age. She was a SAHM until we were in high school, then worked part time in a low paid job for some extra money.

Now, my dad's retired and got a good pension - but he asked my mum what she would do for money if she retired now as she doesn't get her OAP pension tip she's 65.

I thought that was pretty shit...

You're definitely doing the right thing getting out now. My mum is so upset and worried because he's right - she'd have no income if she retired and would be completely dependent on him, wielding his income over her.

stay strong x Thanks

Monny · 26/09/2014 23:26

Nevertriedapickledegg - I am sorry to hear that your mum is having a tough time. I really am hating this life where women end up feeling trapped. In so many ways, life has improved for women (hey, we can vote and sue office pervs). But at the same time, when we have a baby we are left vulnerable (especially emotionally) and so many men seem to take advantage of it (not all, there are good eggs out there). Apparently, this is the time when a lot of physical abuse starts too. And of course, once you have kids, it's even harder to go and easier for the men to keep you under control. Sad

As well as prenups, perhaps they should create a 'Post Baby Contract' that gives the woman rights such as separate pension, x amount of financial freedom, penalty clauses for b@stard like behaviour, x amount of child free time/x amount of sleep, etc.

OP posts:
Diagonally · 26/09/2014 23:30

OP I left my FA exH 5 years ago. Divorce was difficult initially but we reached an agreement eventually thanks to a fantastic mediator.

I was only working 20 hours a week in an admin job but with the help of tax credits and housing benefit I just about scraped by until the divorce was finalised and I got my share of the equity in our former house. I also fortunately got the opportunity to increase my hours at work and have worked for promotion so I am now closer to where I would have been had I not given up my career pre-DC.

It was the most empowering decision I have ever made and I have no regrets.

Wishing you strength Thanks

Nevertriedapickledegg · 26/09/2014 23:38

I know - it's so disempowering for SAHM and very easy for men to feel and act superior in all senses. The financial instability alone that child rearing brings for women is ridiculous in this day and age. All the other factors you mention add insult to injury.

You sound very sensible and assured - probably because this is the decision that's right for you.

Monny · 26/09/2014 23:52

Thanks Diagonally - I am so glad to hear that things have worked out well for you and I am so glad to hear that your career is back on track. Honestly, I am not perfect, I am sure I have not been the easiest to live with, but then again, giving me a break, some more sleep, humanity, may have helped. May I ask how you got out? Did you manage to find accommodation or stay put?

Nevertriedapickledegg - I am actually sh@t scared, but it's more scary to stay here... Definitely the right, if only, decision. Just got to find out how to go.

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 26/09/2014 23:59

OP, have you managed to hold on to that inheritance? I hope so. Wherever it is, keep it safe, and maybe get all the paperwork that relates to it out of the house and leave it with a friend or something? I know you said it's not much, but it's your and you need to get/keep it away from him.

stealthsquiggle · 27/09/2014 00:02

BTW, this is definitely not a new problem. My BFF spent years supporting her mother in getting enough to actually live on from her father's pensions after they divorced. Having a very angry and legally-literate daughter definitely helped, but it was a long, long fight.

Diagonally · 27/09/2014 00:11

Monny on my solicitor's advice I waited until we had agreed finances and exchanged contracts on the sale of our house (took about 9 months but part of that was due to timing on the house sale). It was tough, but it got easier as the divorce progressed and the end was in sight.

Then I moved into rented for 6 months and claimed HB. Once the equity was released I bought my own house.

queenofthepirates · 27/09/2014 00:15

Don't panic, the benefits available to single parents are fairly generous. I'm a single mum to one DC and we are comfortable and have enough for holidays/the odd treat. We do live within our means but not frugally. You will be okay xx

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