Why has it taken me until I'm almost 30 to have great sex?!

[StopHurtingMummyArghhhhh]

I'm a NC for embarrassment reasons .

I'm almost 30. I've been in 2 long term relationships and had plenty of sex with other men in between.

So why the actual fuck have I only just found out sex is great?!

I've gone through my teens and 20's and never really enjoyed sex. It was nice, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the intimacy and seeing the other person enjoy it.

I got stuck in a rut in both my long term relationships - I'd go months without sex, because the less I had, the less I wanted. And it wasn't something I found more enjoyable than other things in life. It was just something I did.

A couple of weeks ago, we got a little more adventurous, and tried some sex toys etc. I found out I enjoyed things I NEVER thought I would such as anal sex.

I'm blown away with some of the things I have enjoyed. I've had my first orgasms with the help of lube, clitoral stimulation and the ears from my new rabbit vibrator . I have NEVER orgasmed before. Ever. In fact, I posted on MN a couple of years ago about never having orgasmed and feeling like there was something wrong with me and DP found my post :(.

I'm so angry with myself for missing out for so long. And feel upset for my partners (current and ex) that I haven't felt fulfilled, and that I've not been as interested sexually as they would have liked. I mean going months without isn't great is it?

Not sure what the point of this post is, other than to berate myself and you can agree what a knob for not figuring all this out a decade ago.

Anyone else in the same boat, and only figured it out later in their life?!

I'm 40 & still waiting

MyGast I don't think it's something that just happens, I think it takes effort. You have to explore and try new things or the same things in different ways. Slow down a bit, relax and let go of anything that might be holding you back. Talk to your partner. Good communication is vital.

So far for me it was in my early thirties when i was with my ex OM . He was great with his hands and fingers. No man has managed to make me come through oral though.

I've only started really enjoying sex in my 30s - same partner throughout, DH bless him, he wasn't doing anything wrong just a combination of growing confidence to ask for what I want in bed, coming off the Pill, and weirdly having children (I think childbirth must have stretched things in a good way, plus once you've given birth in front of people you're not going to be embarrassed about a little thing like asking for good sex!)

After years of thinking sex was rather nice but being slightly nonplussed about what all the fuss was about, when I was about 35 I had somewhat of an epiphany

I think this happened for similar reasons to Rose.

My relationships in the past contained what I thought was good sex until I met my current DP and now it is amazing and has been for the past 6 years, we communicate well with each other, neither of us being afraid to say what we want and to try new things, and long may it continue. My only moan at present is that we don't see each other enough as DP works silly hours but hopefully that will not always be the case

Good for you OP.

My best ever sex is with my current partner. I don't know what it is but we just fit. Have had more PIV orgasms with him without any finger work than I have ever had.

My ex was a huuuuge porn user and it showed (I now know with the help of MN) He was pretty much my first.

I fancy the pants off my BF. That definitely helps I have found