I've posted many times before about my abusive relationship. Tried to leave twice and gone back, but now I do really think I am in the right place to do this. I have a solicitor, and I have seen a mediator, which I don't think will work but I wanted to to try it as it seems that it may be quicker and obviously cheaper so worth a shot, I've told the mediator all about the abuse and she said she will sign my divorce forms any time I want.
Told him last night that i had seen mediator, gave him information pack, and said that they would be writing to him to invite him for an assessment meeting - and that he didn't have to go but I thought it would be the most positive way forward. I've told him 2 or 3 times over the last month that i want a divorce but he's ignored it and carried on as normal which is driving me mad.
He acted as if he was totally shocked, and shouted and ranted at me, told me i would break our dd's heart, then said he would would go for 70% as he had put most of the money into the house, told me he would give up his job, told me i hated him, told me i was evil. I managed to disengage and go to bed and got a decent sleep.
This morning he told me was up to til 3am- when i didn't react - he said - you don't care then! (actually, no i don't).
He's just rung me from work in tears saying everyone is wondering why he is so emotional and its' a nightmare. I responded by saying there have been plenty of times when I have been in tears at work when he's randomly rung me up ranting - especially first thing as I start very early and he gets dd ready for school - once he even rang me up ranting as he had to iron her dress!
When we split before I gave him another 6 months and said he had to stop shouting at me. SInce then I have logged each rant - and i mean rants - with appalling name calling and just going on and on and on. 24 rants in 6 months ie weekly. On holiday recently he went nuts because I put ketchup on my dd's plate and she wouldn't then eat her egg - apparently ketchup and eggs are disgusting. He shouted at me so much and so out of the blue after a nice day that I was in floods of tears as I realised it had to be the end- and dd, who is 6, had to comfort me, I literaly could not stop crying for ages and ages. He didnt even apologise. He's always slagging off my dad and saying I am just like him - despite the fact he went to him in the last year and emotionally manipulated him telling him how awful I was!
I think I am feeling upset by seeing how hurt and miserable and desperate he is - but also bloody angry that he has the audacity to act like that and to act as if this is a massive shock after all his millions of chances, and after I have told him he has to stop shouting at me or I will be out.
and i'm bloody pissed off as i can see that me and dd are going to have to move to my parents so that I can go nc and i really really don't want to (move to my parents that is, nc is ok!). Really fucking fed up with it . I just want control over my life and happiness and a bit of peace. And I haven;t even filed the bloody divorce petition . Such a long way to go , digging deep but my reserves are low.
ah. that's better.