Anyone ever ended a relationship with their child's father just because they don't love him?

[GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe]

I did the other day. Why do I feel so guilty?

Dp is lovely, kind, a great dad, is not abusive and we are pleasant to one another. But our sex life is dead and we have no spark. I'm not sure we ever did.

I got pregnant due to a contraceptive failure about 3 months after we got together. I think I was so grateful he wanted to stick by me after I decided to keep the baby that I tried really hard to make it work. We have now been together nearly 5 years and dd is nearly 4.

I have felt this way for a while and tried to suppress my feelings. I even ended up with depression and in counselling it all came out that my guilt at not feeling the way I should for him was a big factor.

I have got to the stage now where all my friends are getting married and settling down with people they genuinely love and I feel sad we don't have that. I don't want to wake up in 10 years time and realise that life has passed me by. There has never been talk of marriage, even when I said I was sad that dd has a different surname to me. When we had the talk the other night, he admitted that he never asked me as deep down he knew I didn't want to which was kind of true. Since the talk he has shut down and not talking to me at all - apart from a barbed comment last night that I seem "the happiest I have ever been" because I came along with his mym's and made small talk etc and was singing songs with dd in the car. What else was I supposed to do? I had asked him several times if he was ok and tried to engage him in talking things through.

Aww shucks!
I've just been cheated on. It was not nice.
I had a lovely boyfriend pre children but it never felt right. One night I went out and kissed (heatedly not a drunken snog) an old flame. It didn't go any further than a kiss. But I wanted it to... The next day I split up with my boyfriend as I thought it was fair. Sure enough he met someone soon after who he is really happy with.

I just meet wankbadgers

It looks like your dd is going to have a great life with parents who like and respect each other.

Again I am touched Mexican, I do hope so.

The first six months are the worst, I suppose it's like a bereavement, sad for the family unit that has been lost. Christmas is always a tough time of year , my ex stays over (couch ) and we have the morning all together, he usually takes ds to his parents for dinner then I go round afew hours later for a mince pie and then bring ds home for Xmas night with me! It works for us ( for the moment). Neither of us have any significant others yet and I think issues may arise at that point. If in honest it will be the green eyes monster in me, am dreading someone else being in my sons life!! It's not even happened and I often have a 'moment' although soon clawed back when I remind myself he will only ever have one mum!!

And I am proud of myself that I only had a couple of glasses of wine tonight and even poured most of the last glass away - hopefully I am going to cope with this breakup in a much healthier way than I did the last one!

We have actually already discussed Xmas - I have to work except for Xmas and Boxing Day whereas dp doesn't have to work between Xmas and new year.

I am hoping dd can spend these days with me and my family and stbxdp can stay with us too - we will see how that pans out!

God yeah I didn't even think about that - I doesn't bother me thinking about dp being with another woman, but is does bother me thinking of dd having a new "stepmother"! Ouch!

^same

OP, you only get one life. You're allowed to strive for happiness. You're allowed to change things because they're not working for you.

A loveless relationship isn't a good model for your Dd. You've done the right thing.

The step mother thing can be a blessing if you view it the right way. I trusted my ex to put our DCs first and choose only lovely women for partners!
We are now both remarried. My DCs are lucky to be surrounded by a lot of love from a lot of people. They have 4 of us to go to for advice, cuddles, fun etc.

I think that is far better to end an unhappy relationship that to end up either totally miserable or driven to have an affair. Yes you have 'used' him. He has been used as a partner and a father which was exactly what the deal was.... Back then. You used each other, ( although that is not the term at all, just quoting him) to nurture and protect your DC. It was a partnership but that partnership has ended and it's going to be difficult at times to process this and there are going to be millions of emotions flying around, not all of them positive. You can hardly expect him to say that he loves you, I would feel totally demeaned saying that to someone who I knew full well didn't love me.
Your mum may well be upset and disappointed. Just try and remember that she belongs to an entirely different generation to you, one where women invariably did just put up and shut up. Give her a bit of time and hopefully she will come round to the idea of you splitting with your DH.
The separation may turn nasty at some stage and that is often a way to cope with rejection but I do hope in time that you can become friends again if possible and can both continue to be wonderful parents (but just ones living in separate homes) Good luck in your new adventure.

@IndianBlueGlass
Thanks for letting me know.

Best Regards
GH