Am I expecting too much?

[Physcobitch]

This could be long but will try to keep it short. I am a newly wed with a 4mo ds. Throughout my pregnancy my MIL was horrible to me snide remarks, blanking me, picking petty arguments etc. when DS was born she was horrible to me and my family to be the bigger person I sucked it up bit my tongue and kept my distance only meeting if I had to because I couldn't be bothered with how crap she made me feel.

Got married 7 weeks ago MIL and SIL didn't speak to me at all on the day got tears before the meal and DH said he would sort it the next day....well when DH went up to bed after reception I was saying my goodbyes to friends (who had stayed in hotel) and the MIL started on me screaming in my face along with her daughter had me in tears. I returned to my room told DH what had just happened and he said he would speak to them next day.

That surprisingly never happened we went on honeymoon came back and after a week he went to see MIL with DS and nothing was done. I've had no apology nothing and when I mention it to DH it turns into an argument as he thinks I am being unreasonable to go NC with mil and SIL.

Tomorrow is his day off I am working so he has made plans with mil and DS. And again I feel like shit. It's like he doesn't care how I've been treated at all he'll just do anything to please his mummy. I don't want him to fall out with her but I just want a little respect as his wife. It also hurts bc I feel that when DS is with his family I'm forgotten about as his mother and it kills me that at 4mo in a way my DS has a sewerage side of his life to me.

I feel so so down over this. I feel the wedge his mum is causing between us. When he hasn't seen her he's fine when he does he's very cutting with me.

*i got teary before the meal

What did his mum say to you? I'm sorry she was a bitch on your wedding day, your DH needs to grow a pair and tell his mother that he will not stand for her treating you that way. By saying nothing, he is condoning her behaviour x

What did his mum say to you? I'm sorry she was a bitch on your wedding day, your DH needs to grow a pair and tell his mother that he will not stand for her treating you that way. By saying nothing, he is condoning her behaviour x

Ugh it's so childish three weeks before having baby my friebds through me a surprise baby shower and invited my mum not his. She has never forgiven me because although it was a surprise she is convinced I knew (dh supported her on this too). So the night if wedding she started in me about the baby shower (that was five months before). On my hen night she also fought with my best friend who hosted the shower over it. Oh and the SIL hit my best friend the night of my hen too. There is so so much history it would take me pages to write. I don't want DH To argue with them I just want him to let them know they were and are wrong in their treatment of me. But as his mum told me she has no interest in me only her DS and GS also not pulled Up on that either ??????

Well they sound thoroughly unpleasant and your dh needs to pick a side and grow a pair.

I meant speerage life not sewerage stupid phone

They sound a fine pair!
Um...your dh has grown up with this behaviour as normal. I knows logically that their treatment of you is poor, but his conditioning makes him accept it. I don't know what to advise you.
It's very hard to get someone to see the wood for the trees.

SEPERATE

he knows

Well it's up to you really.

Your husband thinks it okay for them to treat you this way. It's obvious he thinks that, since he has done absolutely nothing about their behaviour, and even "sides" with them on the baby shower drama.

So you have two choices, really. You can either stay in this situation and accept that your husband's family hate you, and your husband doesn't care enough about your respect of happiness to say anything, or you can stand up for yourself, tell your husband you are fed up with putting up with his families bullshit, and his total spinelessness in doing anything about it, then leave.

The amount of respect I am seeing for you here is zero. Why the hell would you want to stay married to someone who gave that little of a shit about you?

Oh OP I'm sorry this is all still shit.
I remember you from previous posts.
I'm sure we all told you not to marry into this family.
But, it's done now.
You had a shit wedding day with tears and tantrums as you basically knew you would.
But now it's time to disengage from MIL and SIL.
Just remain no contact. Let your 'D'H carry on with them but you just ignore.
Keep your DS visits to them to a minimum.

If it's still really hard and you just can't take it and you can't forgive your coward of a husband then you may need to walk away.

I think I remember your previous posts. They sound utterly toxic and having had a similar experience I am well aware how painfull this is. Have you read the book toxic in laws ? It explains what's going on and what needs to be done.

It's not your fault , It's nothing to do with you , they would have treated any Dil like this. The dysfunction in the family was in place way before you came on the scene. Your problem is more of a husband problem than a inlaw problem. Personally I never managed to resolve it in my marriage. Mil was like a ow And husband always put her first. A divorce eventually resolved it. Probably not what you wanted to hear sorry.