Confused

[Puffledumpling64]

I need advice. I got married 2 years ago but the last 18 months have been dire. OH has changed. I discovered he has severe depression, which he won't get treated. He refuses help. He went through redundancy last year, it was awful but he got promoted - ever since his attitude towards me has been very condescending and constantly puts me down. He also changed his mind on starting a family. I don't feel the way I did about him any more but is this just a glitch? I've made matters worse for myself by seeing another married man in the last few months. He's been unhappy for a while too. I know this is stupid and I ought to just finish my marriage, walk away and clear my head. I've no idea if OM will leave his wife, though he often says he will. Am I being a mug?

I do think that to renege on the details of a deal after it's signed is very bad indeed. Assuming that you had discussed and agreed to have children, and that he has subsequently expected that you suffer his change of plans, my advice is to get out. How can you possibly trust him not to leave you out of the decision making in other important areas where those decisions would effect both of you.

What future can this relationship possibly have? He has a problem he won't get help for and has changed his mind about something fundamental, also he treats you badly. What exactly is the point of staying?
And of course OM won't leave his wife, but you know that really. You're just trying to find a reason to leave and hoping he will give you one.
You have plenty of reasons to leave and find what you want. A divorce isn't the end of the world.