I have a date Saturday! I'm weirdly scared, excited and nervous all at the same time.

[DoomDeer]

I'm all in a tizzle.

This guy is lovely, we have alot in common, he's very understanding about my time schedules with DD and the date he's planned is so thoughtful and lovely and he's clearly listened to things I've said.

My only issue is that exP left 3 months ago has been up and down with me ever since. This guy knows the situation and has been very understanding with the fact I'm not going to be rushing in to anything, he's reply was "I just want to take you out, you deserve something special" (my ovaries nearly burst). I guess I still feel a bit like I'm cheating, even though I know it's over.

Did anyone else feel like this? I want to go on the date (it sounds so awesome I wouldn't miss it for the world), but I don't want to send mixed messages.

You're fine x

I hope so, I just hope I don't work myself up and ruin it.

You have to be honest with yourself. Are you going to be able to relax and enjoy the date or are you going to spend the evening like a cat on a hot tin roof? Obviously you're not cheating but, it would be unkind to let someone go to a lot of effort on your behalf if you're not in the right frame of mind to given them your full attention.

I think I will let the guy know how I'm feeling, I've taken an open book approach thus far he knows I've been dealing with alot.

Cogito, you're right I wouldn't want to ruin it if he'd gone to a lot of effort. Although its more of an opportunity to be geeky round London than anything else hehe

This man is so nice! Why the hell does he want to date me?

I told him how I was feeling, he said let's take the date element out of the equation and just go on a day to london . No pressure, no problem. He said he'll follow my lead on the situation and understands it's going to be weird for me after 5 years.

Why is this guy so nice? I kinda want him to be a bit of a cock so I don't feel so unworthy haha

Again..... there's a fine line between telling someone you've been going through a tough time and appearing to be playing the 'poor me' card. Pity is not a good look. If you can turn it around and say... 'It's not been a great week and you're just the excuse I need to kick back and have some fun'.... and then make sure you do not mention the ex at all for the duration of the date, it would be more positive.

I never mention my ex. I'm dating and I want it to be about me, one year on, I'm ready to date.

Don't ever put yourself down and think you're 'not worthy'. I would worry that 3 months isn't long enough before dating - but everyone's different, I just didn't want to 'play' with other men's feelings just because of what happened to me.

Are you sure you feel strong enough to date? Some men also want to 'save you' in some way and prey on your vulnerability. I worry about your ex 'ping ponging' too - are you allowing him to?

Not wanting to take anything away from your excitement, just being realistic.

I'm not allowing my ex to take control, I've been very clear that I'm no longer interested in him and his wo is me act. I've come out a stronger person. I feel ready to start moving past that chapter of my life.

I didn't go actively looking for a date or someone else, this guy is someone I've just been talking to in a friendly way, I'd be lying if I said there was no attraction there. My DM seems to think going on a date would be good for me even if it doesn't amount to anything.

I agree I don't want to toy with his emotions, nor do I want to pull the pity card. I haven't mentioned my ex apart from saying when DD will be staying with him so as to arrange something.

I'm kind of excited to go now.