Husband sex and stuff

[iamtheenchantedhood]

Husband and I coming to 1 year anniversary of marriage and 10 years together. We have two kids under 4. I mentioned a few weeks ago a bit drunk that sex wasn't happening for me and how I was interested in clitoral stimulation. Sorry that sounds grose but I have always had sexual need and been sexually active.
I have been fretful about having sex as it has been crap of late, probably due to my lack of effort with kids, full-time work etc.
But last night I let my guard down and did the deed. It was horrendous. I felt violated and remember pain (had had two glasses of red). When I asked him just now tonight he 'vaguly' remembers. That's all he said.
I have no idea where to go from here. I am dealing with a disciplinary situ in work (I am managing) and I have the kids, so obviously I haven't had much time to think about this today.
Maybe he got carried away in the moment but it summed up exactly what he thinks of me? I am so confused. It's been so long since we had sex I'm not even sure if I have imagined etc... Please could someone reassure me...?

Sounds like maybe he wasn't sure what was wanted. If there's no lubricant it can hurt. There's no harm in showing him what you like or directing him gently. Don't bark orders though.

Or have I completely misunderstood...your OP isn't that clear

ok, the opening posts suggests you wanted sex but you wanted some clitoral stimulation. he went ahead with a forced vaginal entry. you know you've been raped but don't want to say so.

am I right?

Is there a problem with alcohol in your relationship (not that that would be any sort of excuse for abuse ect).

The reason I ask is you mention being a bit drunk when you talked about clitoral stimulation. And then you talk about having a couple of red and letting your guard down. You really only had 2 red and can't remember the sex you had to any great extent? Your husband only vaguly remembers? was he drinking too?
If alcohol is a problem for you or both of you, it sounds like it isn't helping any.

The key is communication, sex should be enjoyable in whatever form it takes and the form it takes should be agreed and enjoyable to both parties.

Good luck.

I'm not really getting the picture either except to be if you haven't been clitorally stimulated all this time.