new colleague - help me approach her

[chocoraisin]

Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I have a new colleague working on a project I designed and she's made it clear that she is really miffed about me being in charge of what we're working on.

When she was introduced to the work (I was told she'd love being a part of it because it's 'right up her street' by the person who selected her to work with me) her first reaction was along the lines of 'how did you manage to get this funded?'

We're a couple of weeks in and she's done a few things that clearly send a pissy message eg when I offered a cup of tea to a participant, she pointedly demanded I make her one too. The participant was left in no doubt that she had a problem with me, and actually asked me what her problem was!

Today we had two concurrent sessions running. When I asked her how the session went she simply cut me off by saying 'I left, actually' because numbers were low. Which means that session basically didn't happen for the participant who attended.

I'm cross and also confused. She knows nothing about me but has clearly decided that I shouldn't be in charge of this - I get the strong feeling she thinks she should be! She's also dismissive of the evaluation form and not really engaging (will be a problem for funding if we don't fully evaluate).

How do I navigate this and get her on side? I don't want to respond by being frosty. It's a project I really care about and want it to go well, so engaging with her is really important. TIA

Rigid authority? Or just plain authority. Authority doesn't have to be rigid. This woman is taking the piss - out of you, out of the company. You bet I'd be pulling rank if someone came along and flagrantly pissed on all my hard work, my reputation, the company's reputation.

But ok, different flavours and all that. I would similarly find it confusing if someone led in the way taff suggests btw, though I can see the method in it. I'd be more concerned to get the job done in the most effective way - which would mean not carrying any dead weight.

Try and do the project to the best of your ability, and if it goes tits up, you tried your best. I worked with someone like this once who insisted on trying to be above me, on a contract where we were both paid the same and doing the same thing. Speak to HR if it gets intolerable, if no immediate line manager will help. I think whoever suggested that your colleague would be an asset wanted to shift someone who really in effect is a liability and dead wood. Work hard by yourself, if she tries to take credit for your hard work and she's done sod all, then cuss her out and embarrass her in front of others. Don't take any crap from her. You're there to make money, not friends.

Do what talfry says. I am guessing that she/he has leadership experience

Some others of us also have leadership experience, and that includes taking action when a staff member walks out of a session...it's one thing to want to be a leader and it's another when someone is walking all over you, and out on their responsibilities, you don't take them for a drink! But by all means OP, you pansy around whilst she fucks up your project. No worries.

I don't suppose that, without your knowledge, this is a project that she has been trying to get up and running for years, and she now feels as if you have stolen her idea / she has been stepped over, and that you are fully aware of the situation?

there is no way I could be fully aware if that was the case. I'm contracted in, not part of the organisation. The organisation is a partner on my independently funded project - something I've worked on for two years and they are supporting delivery of at this pilot stage. I met her 3 weeks ago, so couldn't have possibly known of any work she might have wanted to do.

Having said that, it's exactly what feeling I'm getting - she wants to either do it herself or make it impossible for this to be fully successful (dog in the manger style)

Am more pissed off about it today, not less. FFS.

Broadly agree with other posters who say talk to her first, then the boss, then upwards if necessary. Whomever you talk to, keep it factual "in order to achieve our objectives we need to do x y and z. I am concerned that x will not be achieved unless we have (insert the action she isn't doing). This will jeopardise research funding." If the conversation goes well, and your points receive general agreement, you can explore her lack of motivation, but only then or it will sound too personal (I would start that by saying something like "I feel a general lack if enthusiasm towards this project and it would be good to understand that better so we can work together better"... Something like that.

If that is the case, then both she and you should be annoyed at the managers. She should have had the chance to "bid" for management of the project. And they shoukd have managed her better putting her in (rather than letting ypu be undermined). However, if she DID want the project, she's proving herself unworthy, by being insubordinate and actively sabotaging it. She's a grown up and should know better (even if aggrieved), and certainly should act better if she wants a chance.

But by all means OP, you pansy around whilst she fucks up your project. No worries.

Yy, this.

But you are essentially an outsider, she is one of them. That complicates things tbh.

Have you been assigned a company team for the project? That could be a way to address this re stressful for them to be carrying the dead weight who is intent on bringing the project down.

I am reminded of a quote by Anne Robinson "I despair of women in the workplace who don't accept it can be a treacherous place"

If you are contracted in to the organization that she works for, then I would contact the person who has emplyoed you in the organization and explain the situation with them. It is up to them to discipline their employees.

"Pansy around" she's a colleague not an underling I agree she shouldn't get away with stropping but OP risks making a tricky situation worse if she goes in guns blazing.

no guns blazing. A combination of better communication with the whole team and meeting her to find out how to work together constructively is the way forward here I think. I'm starting with a team meeting to better inform everyone of the objectives and ask for general input. I'm also inviting her to meet privately to find out more about her work in this area and invite her to share how she would like to collaborate and develop, so we can establish a relationship where a more equal footing is in place (eg she respects me more, and feels that I am treating her with respect).

I'm putting my feelings to one side and looking at the health of the project overall - there's definitely a need for more cohesive management, which I can take ownership of here. ASAP. So that's step one.

If the individual issues can't be ironed out in the process of getting the team together and showing her that she is valued, then I'll get a bit tougher.

One step at a time :)

Sounds like a good plan. Good luck!

Yes, good plan

But keep that glint in your eye op, even if it's internally. Don't forget you have to watch her like a hawk

I know I'm full of bluster - which doesnt come out like that when I'm actually dealing with it professionally - but it's good to bear in mind the bottom line. Don't forget it.

You do need to let her see that you are tough, though, OP.