Am I Bitter and Twisted?

[Joy5]

After being accused a few weeks ago by my ex's family of being bitter and twisted, i've been worrying ever since am I?

My ex went off with OW, has taken me through the family courts to get out of paying proper maintenance, so feel bad about that but have been concentrating on making a new life for myself.

Am now back at uni, doing volunteer work, and all sorts of things i never would have attempted if i was still married.

So how do i know if i'm bitter and twisted, stupid thing is i still care about my in-laws, they might have cut me out of their lives but i still don't want them to think badly of me so their words have hurt me. Just want to come out of this the better person, having learnt from my experience.

In what context did they say such a thing?

why wouldn't you make a good new life? that makes you an intelligent resilient person. perhaps your in laws are jealous?

You will become bitter and twisted if you spend one iota of your time worrying about what these people think about you.

Why do you think you might be bitter and twisted? And why do you still care about your in-laws? Do you think it would be wrong to be very angry and sad about your ex leaving you and behaving so horribly to you and the children? Do you have anyone in real life to talk these things through with?

you mean you refused to roll over and refused to be treated like a piece of shit by their Golden Boy ?

then yes, you are a bitterer than bitter person

You don't sound remotely bitter and twisted even though you would have every right to be. You sound like you are following the old advice: a life well lived is the best revenge.

Unfortunately blood is thicker than water even when it shouldn't be if there was any justice. You may care about your inlaws but if they drag you down you need to reconsider your relationship with them.

You're not bitter and twisted and your inlaws opinions don't actually matter.

IME, this 'accusation' is often levelled at women who have been pooed on from a great height, then eventually had enough and sorted it out. I am one of those women. And have been accused of it too, oddly enough Pay no heed!

Thank you, they were a part of my life for nearly 30 years, just can't switch off my feelings about them.

Was told in a letter, don't seen them now. Until i read it, never occurred to me i could be bitter and twisted. Now can't get it out of my head.

Think of all the advice i've been given in the last few years, a live well lived is the best revenge. Just need to keep reminding myself of it more frequently.

Then I would disregard it entirely. God knows what their problem is. Sounds to me like you're doing splendidly, and you're pretty happy!

I would consider such a statement about me to be a Badge of Honour in this context

Well of course you must be bitter and twisted, I mean you must be after all that's happened and your ex no longer being in your life!

How inconceivable that you would move on, grow, change and be happy!

Congratulations on all you've achieved : ) it sounds like a letter that should be ritualistically destroyed as it brings neither truth or wisdom.

Send it back to them with "Not know at this address" on the envelope. That'll take the wind out of their sails.
xx

I am sure that is how your ex is portryaing you to his family so I really wouldn't lose any sleep over it. They will take his side because they are his family and there's not much you can do about it.

I like AF's badge of honour post, i am still bitter and twisted towards my ex who has behaved like a complete cunt. I don't see why he gets to behave that way and gets forgiven for it. Forgiveness is over rated in my book.

You don't sound at all bitter and twisted op but even if you were it's allowed if someone has shat on you from a dizzy height.

I think the most you can hope for over time is that you stop giving a rats arse.