has anyone taken anti depressants following an affair?

[Frogisatwat]

Not my affair. His. Hes gone but I am struggling. I feel low and can't function without bursting into tears. If your depression is a reactive one and your ideal cure would be for it never to have happened can anti depressants help?
I swing from feeling 'fuck him' and despair. Mainly despair and negative thinking. Oh and tears. Lots of tears. Crushing loneliness and general misery. I don't want to feel like this.

I went on anti depressants after a very turbulent time and found they helped "Teflon coat" me so things didn't get under my skin the same, and gave me a breathing space from my emotions. They did leave me feeling on the slightly down side though, so although I didn't cry I didn't laugh either! They were a good crutch through the most painful time though.

Thanks for sharing. I feel like there is a lid on me. I know that is a bonkers way of describing it. Like a pressure near my eyes.

My experience was similar, I went on antidepressants for around 3 months when DH had an affair, they helped me sleep and calmed my frenzied brain.

No affair experience but ADs have helped me with relationship issues, I'm on Prozac currently, I haven't had any side effects to speak of, but they have taken a couple of months to 'kick in'. I'm usually a positive person, but I woke up one day and just thought, sod this, I'm not coping. There is NO shame in taking medicine when you are unwell, which is what depression is, an illness.

I think it's worth you talking to your GP, ADs can really help people going through grief and devastation, they kind of take the 'edge' off and make life a bit easier to cope with.

Good luck, Frog, and so sorry to hear what you have been through. Life will get better, there are hundreds of women on MN who are proof of that.

Frog, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I've been there.

I have had some awful trauma in my life and 'prided' myself on not taking ADs. However, when my STBXH left for OW, I was utterly broken, couldn't function and was a danger to myself.

I have a very understanding GP who never pushed ADs on me but on one visit he did say that if I didn't take them, then I was heading for the stage when he would have no option but to give me really strong ADs. I was in total depression and couldn't function.

I started taking Citalopram (20mg) and then up to 40mg. They really, really help but then I was in the pit of darkness - not being dramatic, those who have read my threads know how bad I was.

I wouldn't recommend ADs to anyone but that is purely because I don't know their situation but I know they have helped me get up in the morning and face all the horrible rubbish that goes with a divorce.

I reached a day when I didn't cry, when I didn't think of him every second and where I could move forward and be a happy person who people want to be around.

I was worried that I wouldn't 'feel' anything but I do, they just take the edge off and help you carry on.

It is your decision but if you have a supportive GP, they should monitor you closely.

I'm so sorry for you. It does get better, I never thought it would

Hi Frog

I know the feelings you are talking about - like there's a pressure building up inside you but there's no way for it to get out (for me it was in my stomach). Like a terrible feeling that something dreadful was about to happen any moment and I couldn't stop it.

But a terrible thing had happened, and I didn't always feel I was coping with it either. So don't think you're in any better shape than anyone else in your situation. Your behaving and feeling quite normally!

I still have those days sometimes (today was one) but other days I'm calm and capable. So it is progress.

I haven't taken ADs myself, but someone recommended Beta Blockers, which I asked my Dr. Friend about. In the end, I decided not to go down the route, but I'm keeping my options open, Instead use visualisation techniques for managing anxiety which I got from my counsellor.

I just wanted to say that I read Handful's threads when she was in the shock phase and pleased to see she's coming out of it. You will too, but just not in one day.

So please, please, please don't let yourself beat yourself up. Try to be as kind to yourself as you can.

WellWhoKnew - thank you!

I am also on Beta Blockers as I was getting panic attacks and every day my chest was tight, my breathing shallow and my skin felt like it was on fire, I couldn't explain it at the time but I know so many people go through this now.

Fortunately, they also help with migraine so that was good for me.

I cannot agree more, be kind to yourself.

I took ADs for about 6 months during a hideous time. Without them I wouldn't have got through. They took away the horrible, sick, constantly terrified feeling in my stomach and, once i'd got used to them, helped me sleep. Once the stress was over I found it very easy to come off them - I just reduced the dose over about 4 weeks and then stopped.

You are dealing with so much all at once and there is no respite, especially if you have children. If you are wondering if they could help, have a chat to your GP. Different brands vary hugely - I tried 3 before I found the best one for me - but they can give you a break from the overwhelming negativity and allow you to start experiencing some positive moments.

Yep, tons of migraines since this happened. And Panic Attacks (never had one of those before). Not nice.

I used to be a healthy individual before all this happened...

So sorry you are going through this and feeling so awful.:( How long has it been since you were first hit with this shit storm? If it's less than a month or so I would be tempted to wait a little while. You are bound to be in total shock and there is just no way of getting through this while bypassing feelings of terrible pain, anger and loss, unfortunately, unless you repress everything, which is really unhealthy. If you're a bit further down the line and not coping at all I think it would definitely be worth going to the GP. You could consider getting some therapy and/or anti-depressants. St john's wort is another option, if you're not on the pill. Do you have friends and family you can talk to and who can offer support?

Thank you ALL for replying. I recognise some names. Wellwhoknew and Handfullof cottonbuds. I've read your threads I've never been so naive as to think it could happen to me but you just pray it doesn't.

I've never knowingly been cheated on before and its far far worse than any normal breakup. Yes the sorrow is the same and the grief. But its the other stuff. The unwelcome thoughts that pop into your head completely uninvited that make you freeze in your tracks.

An example. We had arranged a night out with friends near his home but he told me I 'deserved' a bath and a glass of wine so shouldn't have to drive. He would never have done that nor why should he when the venue was next to his house? For some reason he didn't want me there. ..
also one night he rang to see what I was 'up to' which would normally be followed by a request to see me. I asked why.. no reason. . I suspect now it was because he was checking I would be home and not likely to bump into him nearby...
its those kind of thoughts that are uninvited and unwelcome. Piss off the lot of you (the thoughts not my mn friends )

If you think they'll help you get through the worst time if it all being so fresh and painful, then speak to your GP. Can be very useful to help slow your brain panic down and allow you to process things a bit more slowly and so help to start healing

I can't get into gp until Monday. Don't know whether to take some fluoxetine I already have then fess up to the doctor. ... I just want the pain to go away. ..

frog - don't do take the fluoxetine now. It will take time for them to work anyway so not much point if you are wanting them to take the pain away instantly. They are not to be taken lightly. I've been on and off them for many years - my depression is not situational though - and I have many times wished I have never touched the things. However in your position, when they will ease your mood and make life bearable, for a short time, I would certainly try them. But do it with the GP's help and start on the lowest dose you can.

I'd recommend seeing a counsellor - it helped me massively after H's affair. Just to talk about it all, get it out and present it to the objectivity of a stranger, really helps.