Encouraging DP to stay trim

[Confused123123]

When DP and I got together we were both in good shape.
I love and fancy him more than ever but he has put on quite a bit of bulge in the last several months. He hates it and is always making comments. I tell him often that he is sexy and gorgeous and we have a great love life but I know he'd like to lose a few pounds - and if I'm honest I preferred him physically with the flat tummy!

I don't want to put pressure on or be mean but I'm not sure how to encourage him. I eat healthily so on the 3-4 nights a week when we eat together we will have a decent meal but I know he eats junk all day at work. He also loves exercise but "never has the time" so I try and help him with bits n bobs so he can go running.
I know it gets him down and he is rapidly expanding (!!) so I want to help him but in a kind way.... I'll love him regardless but want him to feel good about himself!

How's your shape?
Could you suggest you BOTH need to do something to shape up?
Devise a meal plan for you both and run together?

Tell him that you'd like to join a spinning class, but would really like him to come with you so you know at least one other person there.

If he starts moaning you can gently mention "you are often saying that you'd like to get a bit more in shape - this way it's two birds with one stone!".

Then go three times a week. lol.

Otherwise, you know, he doesn't need to even go to the gym, and running - whilst good cardio - is not great for boosting the metabolism if he is used to it.

Try to get him to do some workouts on youtube. There are some excellent HIIT workouts on there. They really work up a sweat, and he can't complain about not having time to do them, as he doesn't need to go anywhere or really do anything other than shove some sports gear on and grab the laptop.

If he likes it, perhaps you could suggest that he buy the insanity workout set.

Bewarned though - it's fucking hard. There's no way he should start out with something as difficult as that.

Dont put him on a low fat diet. Just encourage losing the sugar and carbs and eat more fat. He won't realise he is on a diet and won't feel hungry. If you cut portions and try to get him to eat less it just won't work.
Look into a Mediterranean style diet or paleo and tell him you want to do it too because of health. To be honest it will help you to as it is much healthier.
Exercise improves health but will do nothing but make him more hungry. Research shows that we just eat back the calories lost through exercise.
Get him interested in something different and a fat and protein based diet appeals tomen

I'm a slim 8-10 and eat a well rounded diet. I don't do a lot of "formal" exercise but am always on the go whereas he is a bit more sedentary. His job also means long hours so I do understand it's hard for him!
We have a hol booked in a month so maybe I could talk about getting beach ready....!

At 50 my DH decided he needed to exercise more and went to a spinning class.
Then he decided to start running.
Two years later he completed his first full Marathon in well under four hours and now regularly runs half marathons for fun. He runs with a local club of older Men and they all motivate each other.

He is trim and healthy and has a nice firm BTM !

Otherwise do you have a nice pool where you could swim together and perhaps go for a sauna afterwards ?

Join a running club? Both of you? You can chat and jog, meet new people, have some shared aims (10k, whatever) and stay fit and healthy.

If you're invested in your health and fitness generally you feel more motivated to eat well. Far easier than attempting to negotiate dietary restrictions.

He could join a gym, though watch out for some of the contracts... I was with a Fitness First which suckered me into a 24 month deal, only by writing an angry letter to their head office I managed to get out of it... Some gyms let you try their facilities, or if a member has a guest pass, that's another way to see if that particular gym is any good. It's hard to motivate yourself to keep going, unless your motivation is the hefty direct debit leaving the account each month

I'm just trying to envisage how this thread would go if the roles were reversed

Well, I know no matter how much I may sometimes bitch but I would feel incredibly bad about myself if my husband agreed with me or hinted he was less attracted because of it.

I'd personally go the route of "I love you at any size, but if you're really worried we can work on our diet, or we can make a regular running/exercise date together". If he says yes, great! If he says "mmmm maybe" your only answer could be something "well if you want to let me know. I want you to be happy".

Yeah I'm in the same boat with my partner.I need to encourage her to lose some weight. I fancy her more when she's skinnier.

only , like, ten pounds or so.