What would you make of this? Boyfriend going to dinner alone with woman he "doesn't know very well"

[rainbowchair]

This is my friend's problem that we were discussing today and we wanted to see what the MN view was.

My friend's boyfriend of 5 months announced that he is going to dinner with a woman he used to work with (and apparently does not know very well) this week. She apparently has recently moved round the corner from him and after bumping into each other she has invited him round for a meal. She is unmarried and otherwise not in a relationship with anyone.

We both think this sounds a bit weird, as it sounds a bit "datey" from my point of view. He said that he is going because he wants to find more friends in the area (as he is not from round here despite living in our city for a bout 3 years).

What do others think?

That he should naturally have wanted - and asked - for you to be invited to this dinner along with him.

Does she know he has a GF?

Seems a bit odd. I don't think he is interested in a relationship with her or he wouldn't have told your friend about it but it seems strange not to ask both of them if she knows he is part of a couple so she might be interested in him iyswim.

Bit like librarian-lady from the thread in Chat. Never did find out what happened there did we?

Bit weird I think. If it was an entirely innocent invite she would have invited them as a couple wouldn't she? Same for him, couldn't he just ask her to join them both for a drink. Don't necessarily think either are plotting anything but it could be a slippery slope.

Presumably ....if she knows he has a gf she would have invited the two of them.

My friend and her boyfriend actually split up very briefly and got back together again and it looks like from what he told her that the dinner was arranged whilst they were not together. So it would have been under the guise that my friend's boyfriend and this lady were both single, but he still wants to go and hence why perhaps my friend was not invited.

From a woman's point of view, and this is personal as I don't really have many platonic male friends, I wouldn't invite a man round for a home cooked meal unless he was a relative or my boyfriend or I fancied him etc. Particularly if "you didn't know them very well" like he says. Drinks in a nearby pub maybe, but I would feel uncomfortable having a bloke I didn't really know too well come round as I would be worried of giving off the wrong idea that I fancied them. Therefore I think the reason why she's invited him round is because she fancies him. That's my personal opinion and I may be wrong.

I think now that they are back together he should either cancel or insist that my friend comes or that they all go out for a meal somewhere together.

It just seems a bit dodgy to me...

Also, the reason why this guy split from my friend (she dumped him) was because he showed very jealous behaviour towards her i.e. got a bit funny about her spending an afternoon with friends that included men. We ALL thought this was way over the top and to me this smacks of massive hypocrisy seeing as this woman is not even a friend of his. I also think that this could be a ploy for him to make my friend jealous.

So why is she with him?

Without knowing the context of your friend's situation its hard to say.

But I often have dinner with male friends, one on one. I have dinner with contractors working for me when they're staying over, again often one on one. I'd think nothing of inviting a male friend round to mine for a bite to eat, and it wouldn't occur to me to invite their partner as default unless I was also friends with them and it was a couples thing.

My husband has a very good female friend who he sees one on one for dinner, coffees etc.

Although as I said, it depends on the context.

I would only invite a man around for dinner if I was interested In him romantically.

I cook for friends and/or couples but never one on one unless their is the possibility of romance their.