My ambition or my Dh?

[Doubtfuldaphne]

My Dh and I are in the same business. He's been working away at it since he left university but I'm more of a latecomer and I am progressing a lot quicker than him.
He's tried and succeeded a few times to boycott some opportunities but the latest is really making me angry. He's quite egotistical and wants to be involved in it all. For my latest event he was nowhere to be seen (could've done with his support) and is now telling everyone he was behind it but it was all my doing, not his.
He's now arguing that he wants payment for this event whereas I'm happy to let it go as it would help me progress in this business.
I'm wondering if I should just give up this dream for the sake of a happy marriage but that would lead to resentment. Sorry it's all a bit vague but I just don't know what to do. It's like I've got someone trying to ruin my life whereas he's supposed to be supporting me!

You won't get a happy marriage if you give up your dream and he sounds like one ginormous bell end.

Ask him what exactly he wants paying for.. In great detail.

what ? are you serious ?

In a good marriage everyone should feel supported in realising their ambitions within reason. He appears to be either taking the view that your success makes him a failure or hijacking your success and claiming credit. Neither of which paint him in a very good light and certainly, if he contributed nothing to your event, he doesn't deserve payment. That's a slippery slope if ever I saw one. Does 'boycotting opportunities' mean he is deliberately trying to scupper your chances?

You know him best. Do you honestly think giving up your dream would make him happier? Or are there other areas of your life/marriage where he appears resentful or disrespectful of your achievements?

I know you are trying to be a bit vague, but I'm a bit too confused to answer you really.

Do you and your DH run a business together or do you work for the same company or different companies in the same industry?

For god's sake, woman, focus on your job. What spouse worth his salt undermines his wife professionally? Why would you sacrifice your career for a man who sounds, frankly, like a selfish idiot?

Sorry it's vague, yes it's the same industry. We both have completely different contacts etc.
He has scuppered my chances in the past.
I think he'd only be happy if I was successful with him involved in it too and if HE was a the main focus which is unlikely as he just doesn't have the same amount of talent for it.

I'm getting the impression that the OP and her husband work in the same industry but she's getting ahead rather more successfully than he is or was at present.

Any man who tried to scupper my professional opportunities or career progress would be under threat of being dumped. There's no place in a decent marriage for this kind of jealousy and resentment, never mind actively trying to sabotage it.

Sounds like he's your Dad, tbh.

Not attractive.

And I'm not at all sure what you mean when you say "for the sake of a happy marriage". Happy for who? Doubt you'll be all that happy.

Is this really a happy marriage?.

He seems quite happy to scupper your chances because you have shown by your efforts that you are and have become more acknowledged at doing this type of work than he is. He does not like the fact that you are better than him and you've damaged his ego (diddums). He should be wholeheartedly supporting you; not sabotaging your efforts.

He wants you to be his puppet, or at least for everyone else to believe that you are.

For a start you need to disabuse him of the fantasy that he had anything to do with this event that he obviously had no involvement in and therefore deserves no payment or recognition, and tell anyone who will listen that this is the case.

He should be applauding your success not trying to take the credit for it. What an arse!

He has scuppered my chances in the past.

Err, if he has scuppered your chances in the past, that doesn't make him your partner and husband, it makes him your enemy. Only someone who doesn't like you and doesn't want the best for you does something like this .

Sounds like a competitiveness/jealousy type situation.

Don't give up on your dream, you aren't doing anything wrong but you and your husband need to sit down and have a good chat. If this was a healthy relationship then surely you would both be happy with whoever was getting the work in? After all it's family money isn't it?

Tbh I think this is one of those situations that, if not sorted out will eventually get in the way and cause enormous stress and tension within your marriage.

He needs to change his perspective on the situation and IMO if he doesn't you guys are doomed.

"He has scuppered my chances in the past."

You said originally that he's trying to ruin your life and that he's egotistical. A little jealousy might be normal in a relationship but this level of possessiveness and resentment is abnormal and unpleasant.

How long have you been together? Do you have DCs?

He has a big amount of self importance which I always found quite amusing and just part of his character but now it's effecting me directly it's not so nice. He must feel undermined and jealous. He is embarrassed by his lack of success and worse than I'm over taking him at a much younger age.
We have two dc's.
I'm going to carry on perusing my dream and if he gets his knickers in a twist he can unravel them himself! It's not my problem!

great kick ass words there in your update but I am concerned that you needed to ask in the first place...

Good for you Doubtful don't let him know anything about your business/your contacts.

I would also sit down and have a discussion about why he is doing this and how it makes you feel. Someone who loves you should not be undermining you in this way. He sounds like a spoilt little kid who needs to grow up.