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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Shall I leave husband

9 replies

Pussycat02 · 22/09/2014 09:02

After an emotional affair which turned physical I admitted everything to my husband as I'm so in love with om I couldn't carry on and just wanted out in the open , hoping my husband would leave me, but it's had a crazy effect he dosent want to let me go I keep telling him I don't love him but he just says let's try again , wev been married over 20 years and have 2 kids in their twenties , I haven't seen om for over a week as he wants me to be with him properly not as affair partner , he is divorced , I miss him like crazy but feel so guilty about everything do you think I should just insist on divorce and leave husband

OP posts:

Quitelikely · 22/09/2014 09:04

Be very careful on giving up your long marriage for the sake of some excitement.

Are you prepared to have your world explode, your finances halved, your home changed, the possibility of your dc not speaking to you, the possibility that your new relationship will fail?

Was there anything wrong I. Your marriage?

PurpleWithRed · 22/09/2014 09:07

Like Quite says - if OM was not about would you be considering divorcing your husband anyway?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 22/09/2014 09:09

Maybe don't insist on a divorce in the first instance but certainly insist on a separation. Pack a bag and go somewhere. On the one hand your DH seems very keen to stay married and I suppose that's flattering but, on the other, he's not exactly taking you seriously or respecting your decision. OM appears to be turning the screw by insisting that you lose your DH before he'll have a relationship with you.... and FWIW I don't think giving ultimatums paints him in a very good light either. But I think you all need some time apart to think properly, consider your options and take some of the high emotion out of the situation.

ThatBloodyWoman · 22/09/2014 09:16

It sounds like your husband is a good man.
Whereas if the om has been doing what he's been doing with a married woman....well......

I think you should seperate from your dh and the om, personally.

SirRaymondClench · 22/09/2014 10:17

I think you should leave your DH and go and be with this OM tbh.
I think your DH deserves better than the way you've treated him and you and OM deserve each other.

Bloomingflower1 · 22/09/2014 11:13

You`ve already decided what you want to do, so get on with it. The love of your life is waiting for you and I am sure you will be happy for the rest of your life, just like the other 20% who have an affair and then leave their spouses.

Why are you asking for advice? Are you feeling guilty by any chance and hoping that MNers will support you in your affair?

Leave your husband, he deserves better than a cheater.

Bloomingflower1 · 22/09/2014 11:17

You said in a previous thread that your OM wouldnt be physical with you until you separated. Surprise, surprise, he has. Thats his first lie.

DuelingFanjo · 22/09/2014 11:19

Personally - I think if you have plucked up the courage to tell your husband then you really do want to be with the other man and you should now take steps to leave.

kaykayblue · 22/09/2014 11:54

Your behaviour aside, it's really not fair to stay with your husband out of a sense of pity, or obligation. If you don't love him, then you need to insist on leaving.

It's not fair on him.

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