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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Wish life had a rewind button...

29 replies

BunnyChow · 21/09/2014 02:33

Just that...wish it did. I'm fed up of being told that I'm wrong all the time. I have a 5 month old and my husband takes immense pleasure in telling that everything I do is wrong or I'm the cause..I'm the cause the baby is stressed(she isn't but even if she cries a little it's becoz of me since I'm passing my anxiety onto her) I'm wrong to pick her up too quickly if she cries, I'm the cause she's crying, I'm wrong not to have thought about weaning, I'm wrong to suggest we take extra baby formula on a soon to come 7 hr flight, I'm wrong to cuddle her too quick, I'm wrong not to have read to her b4 putting her to sleep or not switching on the music( I miss these some days when I'm tired or too distracted trying to get things done around the house) I'm wrong to suggest we have a baby bath since I'm adding to the clutter...the list can go on like this. Just woken up becoz the baby was screaming after the night feed( he fed her) and the moment I opened my mouth have been told that she's crying becoz of me!! Sorry for the rant but just wated to get it out...
Wish there was a button I could press which would give me a second chance to make different choices...

OP posts:
Twinklestein · 21/09/2014 13:13

This is emotional abuse OP, the constant criticism, relentless undermining, belittling and negativity is a way of controlling you. He just wants to have power over you. The relationship and baby 'rules' are to control you, they are not normal OP and you need to get out. It's not good for you or the baby.

If my partner told me I didn't add anything to the relationship I would be gone.

I would take some time out on 'holiday' in your home country, discuss it with your parents and think about moving back for good.

When you've had some good time away from him, prepare to negotiate the split.

DontDrinkAndFacebook · 21/09/2014 13:29

Was this an arranged marriage by ay chance? He doesn't sound as if he has any warmth towards you and he speaks to you more like an employee than a wife.

MexicanSpringtime · 21/09/2014 14:11

Well, if the trip is arranged, the OP does have permission to take the baby to visit her parents, obviously.

But OP, if you don't bring your baby back to the UK, you could well have problems.

Get legal advice

Star8369 · 21/09/2014 14:19

you don't need a rewind button you need an eject dickhead button

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