I need a hug :(

[Mrsgrumble]

Don't know if its pregnancy hormones or what but so stressed and tired.

I have a gorgeous but very active 11 month old and am heavily pregnant. Dh spends every sat with his elderly parents and I usually visit mine. My mother isn't very supportive and I don't enjoy the visits. It's more of am obligation. Long story. Have toughened up and she doesn't hurt me as much anymore.

Dh ends up spending his Saturdays doing his hobbies at home. Woodwork etc and I go to parents, clean the house while minding baby. This is between 11am and 6 pm when dh arrives home to clean house and freshly cooked dinner.

Today I needed to deep clean the kitchen as have been very unwell all week. Now dh did get up with baby at 8 and I had a lie in until 9.

I just have had it though. Mother is giving me no support, his mother is lovely but no support. I didn't cook dinner tonight and am in bed. I can't stop crying. Dh is oblivious and was proudly showing me photos of his work and is happily cooking dinner for himself.

Sorry for offloading. I feel like going downstairs and telling him to move back in home for good.

Ahhh big hugs here . Tell dh how bad you feel and how hard it is carrying a baby around inside you as well as physically and you need a bit of tlc. My dh let me into mens secrets they don't mind read how we expect them to lol.big bunch of flowers too ?? and more hugs.

He's cooking just for himself?

Oh bless you. You're not grumbling, you're trying to cope with a huge workload and feeling a bit shit in yourself.
It's not too much to expect some support and for others to ease the work.

Talk to your DH and tell him exactly what you've told us. Hope you feel better soon.
Meanwhile and for you.

I work full time too so I think it's all getting a bit much. Dh offered to cook but I've ate a lot of biscuits so not hungry

Tell him what you've told us on here. Talk and keep talking to each other. And no you're not grumbling at all; I think you need a lot more attention from your H.

If your mother is not at all supportive then further cut down on the visits; you need to keep reassessing and re-raising your own boundaries and you should never be obligated to such people. People like she do put FOG (fear, obligation and guilt) on their unfortunate offspring. How does she behave around your DD btw?. I am wondering whether your mother should have any contact at all with any of you actually?.

You do not mention your Dad, is he still alive?. If so what is he like?.

If you have siblings how do they get along with their mother these days?.

Here is a big with extra chocolate thrown in.

You are coping with a huge amount. I so think changes need to be made. Cut down the visits to family, pop in for half an hour, make sure they are ok and then off you go.

Your DH needs to cut back on his hobby. When is your time off?? I'm hoping he falls into the hopeless but lovely category not the total wanker who doesn't see why his life should change.

If the former, have a word. Point out you are knackered, with good reason. You have grown 2 whole people in 2 years with only a couple of months break in between. That's a lot for your body to deal with. You are also working full time and can't be expected to do that on top of all the cleaning.

If the latter, kill him and claim the life insurance. I have a patio with room under it!!!

Seriously, take it easy and look after yourself. You are no use to your babies if you push yourself too hard.

and here, have another

Hi meerkat dh knows that he shouldn't just think Saturdays are his hobby time. He also takes off the Occassional day from work to do them. I don't have much interest in them. He is a bit of a homebird and likes to spend time at his parents.

My mother is critical and demanding. She becomes 'ill' at every opportunity to get attention, puts me down. Belittles my job. Dad is one of my best friends and I have confided in him and he begs me to keep going to see her for his sake. Siblings too. They say she is hard on me but don't back me up. When I got married she started to 'fall' when me and dh had nice weekends away so all the drama was on her. She was rushed into hospital the night of my hen with an undiagnosed pain... You catch the drift.

I can cope with her now. I have had a lot of support on here. Dh is just upsetting me though. I don't want to have to beg him to reduce the length of tim he spends at home. He says his parents are elderly and might not be around forever. I might not either... I said my vows for life but I am lonely and bored.

Thank You. I do get the odd hour to myself. I get up early on a Saturday morning and just go out. To get a coffee or something. He is ok with that.

I would tell your DH that Saturday morning is going to be your time - shopping, swimming, sitting in a cafe whatever. He has dinner prepped for when you get home and when all of the other chores are done and tea is planned he gets his hobby time, then back for tea.

I think that you need allies there with you whenever you see your mum.