In despair! Have moved overseas for DH's new job, but his team is very dysfunctional/unsupportive and he now has depression. Lies in bed half the week and now talks daily about suicide. Recent suicide in his family, so he is at high risk for seeing this through.
Crisis recently when I had to be away for a few days. He picked up a stranger in a bar and "under a lot of pressure fron her" brought her back to our house ("but nothing happened"). He is gutted and it's completely out of character for him. I haven't asked for more details as it would only hurt both of us, but I expect he had gone out to drown his sorrows and was very drunk. 6 months ago I would have left him for this, but happy to give him a chance this time as he is clearly not himself at the moment.
Managed to get him to a doctor finally after the crisis, who referred him for counselling with a very experienced psychologist. However, he's now cancelled his first appointment as "there's too much going on in my mind" and "I don't want to talk to her about my bereavement as it upsets me too much". (A sudden bereavement 20 years ago, that he has never come to terms with, not the recent one.)
Any suggestions? Do I stick it out here with our toddler waiting day after day to see if he decides to see the counsellor after all, or do I use the "AlAnon" approach and come back to blighty, leaving him to fall in a downwards spiral until he reaches rock bottom and sees for himself that only he can take responsibility for his emotions and illness, even though there is a real risk that he would take his own life.
He's definitely not physically addicted to alcohol, but has used alcohol and the local pubs throughout his adult life to hide from facing up to work stresses and his bereavement.
Has anyone else been in this position? What did you do?