Can of worms opened after embarrassing confession by colleague today.

[FrazzleRock]

Ok, I could do with some thoughts on this, so I'm going to describe this roughly like the conversations we had today.

My team pal comes strolling into office with sales pal.

Team Pal: Good morning Frazzle! So... Sales Pal had a sexy dream about you last night!
Sales Pal: Team Pal why did you say that!?
Me: Oh good, lucky SP!

Later on...

SP sitting next to TP (opposite me) and we're all bantering about Tinder, then:

TP: So SP, Tell us more about this dream you had about Frazzle last night..
Me: Come on then, spill SP...
SP: Well, it was good actually, we were in the sea and literally bumped into eachtother
TP: Were you naked? What actually happened mate? Did you snog? Did you shag?
SP: Yes we were snogging and getting er, yes we did...

Me: Ha! I hope I had a very hot body...
SP: Yes you did, you had nothing to be ashamed about!

A bit later:

Skype from me to TP: That was funny about SP. And totally admitted it. No way I'd say a word to anyone!
TP: Go for it, he's a lovely lad,
Me: Haha
TP: Why not?
Me: No reason...
TP: Wait, you kinda like him don't you!
Me: What makes you say that!?
TP: I can tell, haha amazing I will let him know...

Oh help! I think I actually do like him now.... I think I have always had a soft spot for him, but he's about 25, and I'm 35 with two DC!
What now? Do you think it was one of those dreams which don't actually mean anything to do with the content of the dream? Or do you think he actually might fancy me a little bit?

I'm a bit confused by all the dream banter stuff but it sounds like you've definitely had some flirting going on there. If you're single and so is he then go for it and see what happens.

Can be messy having a relationship at work though so bear that in mind and weigh up the risks.

Well it does sound like the office version of the playground "my mate fancies you".

But (even assuming you're both single so this is a starter) the pitfalls of an office relationship are only worth it if you really, really fancy each other.

Hmmm I don't know. Is TP a good friend? Or a bit of a stirrer? have your best interests etc?

Based on the above I probably wouldn't do anything tbh. Doesn't feel like the right kind of ...platform?

I'd see if anything else develops, independent of TP.

My policy on office romance is be prepared to marry them or find a new job. I wouldn't initiate anything based on a dream he had. I think that has the potential to be very embarrassing for both of you.

Also, Team Pal sounds like a drama llama. I would question her motivation for stirring all this up.

How closely do you work with this young chap? If he's from several layers of admin away and you can cope with the fact that TP will totally guess and you're both single then why not? If he's part of a small close team then it's a bit trickier.

Thanks for the responses.
Yes it does sound like playground antics, I totally agree. TP isn't a close friend of mine, but we do respect each other and I don't think he'd stir anything, knowing my circumstances.

I think you're all right about the office romance thing, though I am planning on leaving soon.

I was just surprised I think and reminded me about my soft spot for him... I think I'll leave well alone. Maybe see what happens once I've left.

EvilRingahBitch Well TP and I are in Product/Development team and Dream boy is Sales. The office is relatively small though, his team sit fairly close to us.

Not to dampen the tone... You might want to be a tiny bit careful.

One (or two?) older woman pressing a younger man for salacious details in the office wouldn't really look great to HR.

There's a good reason these kinds of conversations aren't really appropriate in the office.

If you're leaving soon what's the harm in giving it a go?

My Team pal is male (and the same age as SP) and a friend of his.

It was all very tongue in cheek Littlebluebutterflies My office isn't hugely corporate and serious, though I'm sure it will become more so as we grow. We are all pretty good friends in the office - all the more reason not to do anything!

Team Pal needs a hobby, is what I immediately think.

OK OP. You know best.

I don't think he would have told you if he didn't find you attractive.

I'd leave it with TP and just go with the flow if you do like him.

Age is just a number and its not a marriage proposal, just a potential date. Have fun

I think I'm going to climb down from this. Maybe I got a little bit over excited. I will take a back seat and, if he is interested, he can make the move.

Littlebluebutterflies - I don't think I do know best? That's kind of why I was asking for everyone's thoughts? I am very grateful for your advice, (and I am taking it onboard) I was just explaining my office set up, it's not the usual corporate and serious environment you would expect, (at the moment, though it is starting to become that way).

ColdCottage I think I will do just that

Go for it

I would say a)this is really not appropriate for a workplace conversation, even if it's not serious/corporate there is a 'line', and b)if you do decide to take this further then I would leave it for a week or so and see where it goes. He had a dream about you and you had a laugh about it - it doesn't necessarily follow that he wants to go out with you. See what the chemistry is like over the next few days.

wait and see, play it out. It kind of reads that when you thought he might have feelings for you, it made you realise you liked him. I've had sex dreams about people I am totally not interested in before, even to wake up and think 'what the fuck was that'. I'd even tell someone as it was so weird to have dreamt of that person.

I've had sex dreams about people I am totally not interested in before, even to wake up and think 'what the fuck was that'
I think you're right peasandlove That was my original thought.
I'm going to just forget about it and cast it off as silly office banter. If's he's interested, then he will do something about it.

I feel a bit weird about him being so much younger. I kind of forget how old I actually am, especially as most people at work are in their mid 20's. I have to keep reminding myself I'm no longer 22, much as I feel like I am!

we all do that, I'm still 26 in my head (im 39) and make comments to people in their 20's that I think are normal for our age group until I think about it and realise they actually think Im "old"

Oh dear ... I had one of 'those' dreams night before last. The 'lucky' guy was .... George Osborne and I'm nearly 73 and not even a Tory!

If it doesn't get in the way of you working with him (and think about what the atmosphere might be if it all goes wrong), then I say go for it!!

Nothing wrong with having a little fun! But if you want more from him, ah, well, then you have to think carefully because of the kids and him being only 25.

I'd love to have a good bit of fun atm. But not sure a 25 year old would suit me long term (I have two kids as well).

but was he good ?

this is just an INAPPROPRIATE workplace conversation!