Married client with 4 children wants to meet up?

[candyce83]

Im a hairdresser and Ive run into a major problem with a client.

I had a phone call from my client the other day asking if we could meet up outside of work as she wanted to talk to me about something, she sounded pretty shifty on the phone and nervous. I felt put on the spot and just said yes as I felt bad saying no. I ended up feeling really uncomfortable with my decision to meet up and decided to cancel. I just got an odd feeling about it. My coworkers said she probably wanted to meet up to ask me to do her hair outside of work.

Yesterday she rang me again and I was busy with a client so she left a message with the receptionist. I was pretty busy with clients for the rest of the evening so she rang again and asked the receptionist if she had given me the message to ring her. She assured her that i was busy and would ring back when i was free…..this made me pretty nervous and if Im honest I didn't want to ring her as it seemed she was being pretty pushy and I guess I am a bit of a pushover. The receptionist told me I had to ring her back so I rang her and said that Im pretty busy so wouldn't be able to meet up and if she wanted to talk about it now i didn't mind…she basically came out with that she thinks she's gay and wanted to meet up and talk to me as she really enjoys talking to me. I was gobsmacked and out of panic said Id have to check my schedule and get back to her tomorrow. We were closing for the day and she rang back twice, leaving it to ring the full 15 times. She rang again this morning saying shed be out so if i needed to contact her to ring her mobile.

Some background info, I have done this woman's hair twice. I have mentioned the first time I did her hair that I was in a relationship with a woman with two children and the second time I saw her that wed split up. Nothing in depth she just asked me about it. She is married to a man with 4 children and the husband is on tour constantly.

I am really stressing out about this. I feel like she's pursuing me a bit to strongly and even worse when Im at work. Im worried that if i speak to her Ill end up agreeing to meet up when I just feel so uncomfortable with the situation. I just feel really bad saying no to people and don't know what to do. I feel like some major boundaries are being crossed.

Am I being a massive dick to feel like something doesn't feel right about this? Please someone shed some light on this. I couldn't even sleep last night.

You don't need to feel bad she's the one who's made it weird. I think by agreeing to meet her you might get her hopes up that you like her back- think you need to tell her that youre not available to meet up and it might be best you don't do her hair in the future.
I feel sorry for this lady she's obviously confused about her feelings and has latched herself onto you but that's not your fault its making you stressed and worried so I would put a stop to it now

If you're stressed, just say no. She could just be looking for a gay friend to confide in.... you've already been chatting over the haircuts and maybe she sees you as a kindred spirit. She could be angling for an affair. Could be something else entirely. If you suspect her motives, ask what it is she actually wants. If you're not comfortable with the situation, turn her down.

She's married. Tell her that. No further discussion needed. I can understand that you were pushed into a corner but tell her that - firmly - and refuse all and any overtures.

This can be as big or small issue as you allow it to be. Just be firm with her and say you are not interested other than a professional relationship. Very simple. What is the worst that's going to happen?

Two thoughts- either she wants you to introduce her to her future life via whatever social scene she thinks you already know about, or she has latched onto the idea of you specifically. Maybe partly because you are (paid to be) attentive while cutting her hair, she's built it up etc etc.

I totally understand why you feel uncomfortable, particularly as she is calling you at work. If you definitely don't want to meet her can you try "I don't think it's a good idea" rather than anything specific? Or get your colleagues to field her calls and support you in keeping it professional with her.

If it were a married man who wanted to meet you for a 'chat' there wouldn't be any discussion at all and you'd be told in no uncertain terms. Double standards a go-go.

I feel sorry for her too…I think thats why Im so stressed, cuz I just can't give her whatever it is she needs. I want to believe im just someone to confide in but the obsessive phone calls tells me otherwise. I have to admit every time the phone rings at work a sense of dread comes over me. Everyone at work thinks its hilarious of course.

Even if she just needs a friend, I have a hell of a lot im trying to sort out from the past in counseling so I don't think id be well equipped to take on the breakdown of her marriage.

I always treat people kindly and always listen and try to be helpful but I know I personally wouldn't ask someone who ive spoke to on a superficial basis only twice to meet up and then ring incessantly. its like i have a script written in my head of what ill say to her then it goes out the window when I speak to her cuz I feel so bad for saying no.

Think Im a total people pleaser!!!

Lying, i think you're pretty right there…I wouldn't mind being her friend but I have no interest in a relationship with her at all. I just cant figure out what her motives are. Im just nice and maybe she's taken it the wrong way. I also don't think im really anything special so I just think she probably doesn't know anyone gay and wants someone to confide in.

As far as being attentive that is just me. i do my job because I love it, not because Im paid(which lets be honest the pay is shocking and I work for a major company) I am just nice to everyone cuz Id want to be treated that way.