Rant DP is just being a shit! and i dont know if i can take it much longer!

[MINNIE1]

Sorry for ranting but i am just so fed up!

DP rang there and asked what was for dinner, told him and i asked him where he was he said he was a home! I asked could he make a start on dinner and he said he didnt know that he would try. He rings back and tells me he has to go somewhere and that he wont be back till 6.30 or 7.00 which leaves me again to deal with DD (not that i mind looking after DD) and i am 7 months pregnant! He also was being so nice to me last night till he asked to go to an event at the wkend which is taking up sat and sun!

I am pissed off and realy need a break, its the fact that he doesnt seem to care that i am under pressure with work, looking after DD and keeping the house. He doesnt seem to think its important to be spending his spare time with us.

I am so fed up i could cry! Sorry for ranting but need to get this off my chest!

Feel free to cry and rant,I've done a great deal of it on here myself this afternoon,and it has done me the power of good.
Have you sat down and told DH what you're telling us?Preferably without the ranting and crying.
Often men don't realise they're being arses until it's pointed out to them. You're doing such a good job at work and with DD and being pregnant too,you've made him think you're superwoman,and he probably thinks you're managing really well.

Men, humph !

You are absolutely right to rant. I have to say that I am quite glad its Monday ( I am off on mat leave at the minute) because then at least I know where I am rather than labouring under the illusion that I might get a hand with things. To be fair I do get a hand provided I point out when DS needs changed, make up the milk & point out what he needs to be fed, take over feeding half way through when DH gets bored or if DS starts crying.

Don't you just love the way that when you do put them on the spot then they invent new "jobs" that would prevent them from helping out, oh and just realised my typo that should read pulling their weight not just helping out like they are a lodger or something.

Something that I find works ( for about a nanosecond until the golf or football comes on) is to describe in flat unemotive terms the division of labour as you see it and then how you would want it to be then smile sweetly and say "Am I being unreasonable in this ?" He will then be forced to agree that no you are not being unreasonable and hey nothing will change but at least you have the moral high ground.

I am seriously thinking of introducing behaviour stickers when I go back to work, I guess marital relationships will have to be the rewards !

Sorry this has turned into my rant, big hugs for you it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job.

D was like this when I was pregnant with DD2. Becasue we act like supermum most of the time they take it for granted and don't stop and think 'she must be whacked, I need to take over' and so on.
So what I did was email DP exerts from pregnancy websites. Lines that said 'being x months pregnant is like walking up a mountain' and bits about what was happening to my body, how squished up my lungs were, how a woman x months pregnant needed to rest and so on. I'd have to keep doing it but it did have short term effects!!
Rant away on here it will help as well. Loads of us know exactly how you feel!
TC xx

Yeah but Thomcat does that not mean that once MINNE1 has had the baby then he will expect her to do everything again as her body is "back to normal". I almost find it worse when DH is really good & helpful for a while then goes back to not doing anything.

Thank you ladies, i think once i had that off the chest i calmed down. Got home and DP was there he asked are you in bad form i replied i'm on top of the world! He just said ohhhh and started dinner. I asked him for a hand this evening and he helped me. So yes its alot easier to ask for help then let it build up. MEN cant live with them cant live without them!

Its good to know that im not the only one out there that has this problem.
Thanks again ladies for giving me wise words.

Minnie, agree with Thomcat totally about the supermum thing - most of them just don't get it. I'm so used to proving that I can cope with anything (tough job before baby, much tougher job now though with DS!) that I let it all build up and DP really doesn't realise what's going on. Finally had to sit down last week and admit I actually wasn't coping (very hard for me to do) but we had a great talk and it has cleared the air and some of my unspoken resentment. At least now DP will make an effort without me always having to ask first ( which I find infuriating!) Sometimes think it does help to let them know you're not infallible

I was really sneaky with my dh. As has been discussed he's certainly not lazy or deliberatly unhelpful he just didin't realise how much work 2 little ones under 2 really are so . . . I 'accidently' forgot something very important on our weekly shop and had to go and fetch it. Once there I stopped in the coffee shop and had a nice quiet brew and read the paper. I was gone about an hour and a half in the end. He phoned to ask where I was and I told him all about the horrendous queues and the horrible traffic jam. Poor bunny sounded really stressed and kids were screaming. NOW he realises how hard it is and I get much more help.