Friend?

[jayney86]

Hope this is the right thread to post.
I've had a friend for years, we used to get on really well although she always has been a little self obsessed but I'm more of a listener so I kind of worked.
Anyway we've both since got married and had children and sort of drifted apart, we've both moved house aswell. I do see her occasionally but it always feels like conversation is a little stunted and not how it should be between old friends. I don't have any other friends who remotely live in the area and I think I've clung onto this friendship longer than I would have if I'd have had a wider group to socialise with. However she's also my hairdresser and I'm desperate for a bit of pamper time & a new style so I wanted to treat myself by going to a salon (she would come to me although she hasn't done my hair in almost a year). Although I know I'm completely justified in feeling like this and can do what I want I know she'll feel that I was being disloyal so I was thinking of telling her what I want to do. Do I need to justify this too her or should I do it to save any arguements?

When you say you see her occasionally, how often is that now? I'd assume that, if she hasn't cut your hair for a year, she isn't going to be too put out at the revelation that you're getting it done elsewhere. No need to spell it out therefore.

Might see her once a month briefly.

Unless your standard 'do' is the Yeti, down to the knees look, she already knows you go elsewhere. That could be part of the reason why the conversation is stilted, of course.

If she asks, say that you were bought a pamper session as a gift. It is the truth after all, even if it were you that bought it

I had a baby a few months ago so I've had one trim in the last year and always wear my hair up so I'm not sure she would have noticed.

As you had a baby quite recently. might it be an idea to try and meet other mums-with-babies to find some other friends? I think you need a few more to add to this person. That way it wouldn't all seem such a big deal.

I used to have my hair done by a woman in our village, but decided I'd prefer a better cut and went elsewhere. I didn't feel obliged to tell her anything and we still chat if we meet outside. People do change their hairdressers from time to time.

It sounds to me as if you aren't all that interested in her tbh, and maybe the friendship has changed somewhat. That's quite ok; the dynamics may have altered, and you each prefer to back off a bit. I expect you're taken up with your DC and family life, so it's understandable.

I agree with a PP. Tell her your partner or mum bought you a voucher.