Self harm

[PrettyLittleSteppingStone]

I think (know) that this is the wrong thread to write this but I'm unsure where else to post it?? If someone can direct me, then I'll be happy to remove the post here and start / try again. So, apologies for that to start.

I was a teen self harmer. I used to cut and scratch. I met my partner (together almost 10 years now) and I gradually stopped and promised him I'd not vent my anger / upset that way any longer and will lean on him for support instead.

Years passed and this worked out very well. My mental health improved greatly and life just passed by.

At the end of last year my partner got diagnosed with MS, I had a miscarriage at the start of this year and I feel I'm slipping out of control again just a little.

Because of my partners diagnosis I don't feel like I need to burden him with what I class as 'silly little issues' anymore; therefore, to release my emotions I've relented to scratching myself on the odd occasion.

Last night was one of those moments where I just could no longer see the wood for the trees and have etched the letters F.A.T in my arm. Twice.

I don't even know why I'm writing here. To vent? I cannot tell anyone about this in real life because I don't want my DP to know.

Sorry for this dribbly babble! :(

I'd also like to add that I know this is hugely minor compared to some of the issues on this board. I'm sorry if that causes offence.

You need to do something else instead of self harming. Have a read here: www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm#find for some suggested alternatives. As if you self harm in the same place you will just be a mass of scar tissue.

Of course in reality you should probably go and see your doctor and get referred for counselling as self-harming can lead to other things if not treated properly.

A miscarriage and a partner diagnosed with MS are not trivial problems at all. Everyone would find those things very hard to deal with. Self harm is a coping mechanism that you learnt all those years ago, a way to release the pain or a way to ask for help without saying it.

Please go to your GP and ask for help and support and please be honest about the self harm. It is so much easier to stop before you start, if you know what I mean.

You've probably heard this before, but in the meantime, could you try something else less harmful? Try holding an ice cube when you need release or wearing a loose elastic band around your wrist and snapping it when you feel like harming yourself. Both will give you the same endorphin rush. You could even get an elasticated bead bracelet instead of an elastic band.

Many hugs.

The fact that your partner has MS does not mean that your health problems become less important. He needs help with his condition and you need help with yours. People in a good relationship support each other. Please go straight to your GP, give them the full story and ask for help.