Incidences of mismatched/wrong paternity?

[CuriouSir]

Hello all.

I am just curious about this. I have read that 'non-paternity events' (where there is a mismatch between the father of a child and the actual biological father) is around 1-2% in the UK (according to one study). Do you know of anyone that has raised a child as their own, when said child hasn't really been theirs?

Is there a special reason for your curiosity? Do you believe you have the wrong Dad? Do you suspect your DC isn't yours?

Knowingly or unknowingly? My brother is raising a son who he knows may possibly not be biologically his. He and his now-partner had an on-off relationship at the time of (unplanned) conception and both had other sexual partners. They opted not to have a DNA test, and my brother considers his son as his son regardless, as do the rest of our family. We don't talk or think about it, and I genuinely forget most of the time. I have no idea whether they'll explain the situation to their DC when he's older.

There's a likely occurrence with a family friend. My interest was piqued when I looked at 'sperm wars' and after reading anecdotal references to women being better at men at keeping secrets when conducting extra-marital affairs, etc.

Almost certainly a case of letting sleeping dogs lie....

Hmm.

It's really up to the couple, isn't it? Do you know more about the possibility than the DP/DH in question?

"reading anecdotal references to women being better at men at keeping secrets when conducting extra-marital affairs" - not sure what this has to do with your specific situation - either the DP knows of the possibility or he doesn't.

There's always a possibility unless one is always with one's partner, but I suspect that's a different, more expansive discussion.

My dad raised me and my brother as his own. my biological father walked out when I was 3. I found all this out at the age of 16 and still have a lot of questions unanswered.

... just re-read! He obviously knew we were biologically not his so I'm not sure if my comment is relevant! oops

That's cool, thanks for the contribution.

I know 3 women who knowingly lied about who the fathers of their babies were. The bio-dads all knew as well. The only ones in the dark were the 3 dads who were told they were the bio-dads, but weren't. Years later, they still think they are the bio-dads.

I knew exactly who my son's bio-dad was although the judge still ordered a DNA test to prove it. There was another man who thought I was lying and he was the dad. He wasn't. I knew that. The timing was all wrong. The idea he thought I would lie about that was interesting though. I showed him the DNA test results to prove otherwise.

Maybe it is more common than we think even in this day and age of DNA testing - because now there really should be no paternity question at all. Probably people just don't want to know.

I'm a little concerned about the motives for this thread. This family friend that you seem to have in your sights for suspicion, for example. Is this a man that you think has been cheated on? A woman who is cleverly hiding a secret? Does the baby look nothing like their parents? Subject of local gossip?

There's no need for your concern, don't worry.

This is a very popular subject amongst MRAs, who seek to use a few isolated cases to smear all/most women as lying sluts.

Just sayin'...

My thoughts exactly...

If so, this is a wittier user name than usual...

Wrapdress - wow that you knew that about three different women but yet their husbands didn't! Do you hear confessions or something?!

Nope. I didn't even know what MRA stood for in this context until I looked it up just now.

Cautious too.

Is your friend concerned about whether he is the father or not? If so, hearing all the evidence and anecdotal stories in the world is not going to give him the answer that he wants.

if they're your concerns and not his, then it's not for you to question.

I wrote a book (novel) about this exact subject! No experience, no particular interest - just wrote it. Long time ago now though, published 2010.

1 to 2 percent can hardly be called a few isolated cases.

I think the MRAs, of whom you are not one, go more for the anecdotal stuff than any numbers.

The 1-2% - is that from a random sample or from those who had sought out testing? If a random sample, had the men in question previously been asked if they believed the child to be biologically theirs - for example, adoption, some forms of IVF and known crossovers of sexual partners could be misidentified by "blind" sampling.

blogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2010/06/the-paternity-myth-the-rarity-of-cuckoldry/#.VBnLsclwbqA

It's all here... sampled from a group identified as 'relatively high paternity confidence' .

Some figures for helpful context:

Uk birth rate - most recent figures - 700,000 pa. Stillbirth rate just under 0.5%.

Birth defects across Europe...

How common are birth defects?
The european surveillance of congenital anomalies (EUROCAT) shows that, across Europe, just over 2 per cent of babies develop a defect that is likely to affect their ability to survive or function normally. About 2 per cent of these babies will die spontaneously during development, and about 14 per cent will be terminated by choice.

Some defects are often not discovered until later (eg deafness and problems in walking), and these are not included in this figure.