am I going mad or is he abusive?

[guapa74]

Been with partner 16 yrs, 2 dc. Last Nov he changed and started putting me down, being verbally abusive etc. In March I threw him out and then took him back in July, I found a txt on his phone in August from woman asking when they are having night out. I spoke to woman and she say they met in Nov(when he changed) but nothing happened except few drinks from time to time but he constantly asking her for a proper date. He deny it all! I believe her. We are living in the same house, he is constantly having a go at me, belittling me and making me feel shit. Up until last week he had fussed around me and done lots he never has done,guilt! Now he is turned again, house isn't clean enough, etc etc, we live abroad so I can't up and leave as I would in UK! Don't know what I'm asking just need to get it out

You're not going mad. He has decided you're not up to something he reckons he deserves but you can't fulfil.

I wouldn't bother trying to either. Tell him to sod off and when his mid-life crisis is over you'll consider accepting him back.

Also everything is my fault. My dd slip on stairs( not hurt) but my fault cos she had towel on, just in from pool and marble stairs. Dog had diarrhea, my fault I must have fed him something. Etc etc

Do you argue back?

I do! And it infuriates him, I'm in spare room for last couple weeks. I can't bare to be near him

He's pushing you until you break. Then it's not his fault for the relationship ending because he's a lying chicken-shit coward.

Thanx bitter, I thought that but he turns it all on me, everything my fault! I have honestly thought I was going mad at times and ivr only posted small part of story

If you have to ask yourself if you're going mad then, he's being abusive. Why are "you" in the spare room and not him? Tell him to get out, not only of the bedroom either. He's a lying cheating bastard, do you need to know more?

You're only going mad because he's driving you mad by being an abusive, manipulative, two-faced lying philandering bastard. Kick him out. You'll pretty soon feel sane again.

He's being abusive because another woman came on the scene.