Help me.

[Vodkajellies]

I don't know what I want to do I'm still crazy in love with my ex and dcs dad but he is with someone else we have been apart for just over a year and I want him back I don't want to become the ow but I'm verging on it.Their relationship isn't great but I don't want to get in breaking them up but how do I get back the love of my life?

Why did you split up with this 'love of your life'?

We had too much going on neither of us were working and we were constantly fighting he also cheated on me but we have worked through a lot and been through a lot together and apart I just cannot see myself being with anybody else

What have you done over this past year for yourself? To help yourself move forward?

Why would you think there would be an option for you to be the OW?

You probably can't see it because you haven't properly accepted it's over yet. Being on the verge of becoming the OW.... really?.... is that all you're worth? Being this man's bit on the side? Sloppy seconds?

What else is going on in your life? Do you work? Have friends? An interesting and fulfilling social life? Family? Or do you sit home all night bored stiff, lonely and thinking 'better the devil you know?'

So this man loves and respects you so much he is considering letting you become........,,,.,,the OW. What a catch!

Please do not go back to where you have been before, there is not much point because there wasn't last time so there definitely won't be this time.

Without sounding rude your post almost seems like your desperate for him? That is because you lack the self respect to understand that you are worth so much more.

If you be one the other woman all you will be is easy sex. That's mostly what being the OW involves.

I do work but don't really have much of a social life so yes I do sit at home thinking of what could've been and yes I am desperate for him god only knows why.
I have accepted that we are over and have been on dates with other guys but their not him I do have enough respect for myself to not enter into an affair if you like with him.

Loneliness is a killer. It's normal to miss someone, especially when they are tantalisingly out of reach, maybe being nice to you when you see them. You'll selectively forget all the crap and selectively remember the good times, sex, companionship. You're right that it isn't love, but desperation.

Fixing this is not about going on dates with other people necessarily. It's about rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem, having a fulfilling and busy life doing things you care about and being with people who like you. If you have a strong sense of self and plenty of confidence you will raise your standards.

I have rebuilt my own confidence I took a lot of time out for myself to know what it is I wanted before I took a step into dating as I didn't just want to go from man to man confusing myself and hurting other people.

It's only been a year. If you're still pining over your ex, you need to keep rebuilding.