How often does your XH see the children?

[BelleBoyd]

My X doesn't have the children over to his place or overnight-his choice.
Our DD is 4 and DS 6 months.
At the moment he sees them for an hour in the mornings twice a week-although that'll stop now the summer holidays are over as I need to do the school run.
He has seen our DD for 2-4 hours once a weekend for the last 3 weekends.
He's very inconsistent, he's says due to working overtime at home on the weekends.
I'm exhausted and would like the children to have a consistent schedule. Have tried to reason with him, written him emails, suggested schedules etc to no avail.
DD would love to see him more and be taken out to do things.
Don't know what I can do to change the situation..or is this a normal amount of contact?

I don't know how to make them... my ex sees my youngest about once a month atm. He makes a promise and just doesn't turn up usually.

Does he take them put or is he one of these who want to see then in your house? Some men see taking their kids out as giving you a break or free time to meet another man... They don't like that.

I don't think there is such a thing as normal. My X has no contact at all with our 2 DDs, but then they are a lot older - 17 & 21.

I guess he would see the older one more as he could be a bit scared of the responsibility of both at once on his own? does he have parents/ relatives who can help him, or another single dad?

Unfortunately you can't make him do anything and it will be his loss. Could you suggest easy things for him to do...perhaps a kids movie at the cinema Sat or Sun morning? Walk in the park, Macdonalds etc?

sorry, can't be of much help

50/50 here.

Given that you have explained your wishes to him in a calm and clear manner i think you are a bit stuck here.

You are either left letting him see them as and when, on his terms which is pretty unsatisfactory, or you could be a bit firmer and say no, you either have the children 'properly' or you will see much less of them, equally unsatisfactory. Pretty shit really.

Could you perhaps talk to his parents or someone he respects about it ?

Yes he often just wants to be here in the house whilst DD often plays on her own with him on his phone...
No joy with his family unfortunately.
Oh well it may be we just have to put up with it.

No you don't have to put up with it.

Tell him from now on you'll have the kids ready for him to take out. Stop letting him in to see them.

At the minute you have nothing to lose and he needs to be a proper dad rather than paying lip service. I my ex would love that kind of set up but I'm not having none of it.