I've been the biggest mug of all time

[gwhappylife]

I'm not NC because I don't care if I'm identified.

H left us two days ago. I've been so busy last weekend to have had time to myself, but now everything has settled I feel devastated.

We have two DCs, youngest is 6 months old.

I feel like I've been the biggest idiot going! I foolishly trusted him never to betray me like this after last time, yet here we are. Why did I forgive him in the first place? that alone should've told me the kind of man that he is. I even married him (why?) and now he's fucked off and left us penniless with a mountain of bills to pay.

The electricity had run out in the night (emergency) and now my fridge is completely defrosted.

I don't know why I came on mumsnet but I have.

I'm so sorry that your faith in this person was thrown back in your face. You can't blame yourself for loving the wrong person. You can't even blame yourself for forgiving someone that ultimately wasn't worth it. We all make mistakes and we all have regrets but you can go forward in life, older, wiser, hurting for now but knowing that it will get better and you will still be a good person who has their self-respect intact. He, on the other hand, will always be a miserable shit that deserves nothing at all.

Do you have RL friends or family that you can talk to or be with? It's tough to be rejected. It's especially tough to be rejected when you've invested so much in someone. Be with people who love and support you.

Good luck

I am sorry. Mug No More now. You will have reserves of strength you never knew you had. It takes guts to take someone back when they have betrayed you before, never forget that. It's not your fault he was always goign to be lacking in integrity.

So, start rebuilding your life and never take him back. Lesson learned. Tell all your RL family and friends, no more pretense.

On a practical level, can you go to a friend's house and cook up all the food that's defrosted? Have you got money to put in the electric meter and then you can freeze the cooked food?

Can you go to the CAB for advice on the debt? I would also contact the companies where the bills have come from and explain the situation, they will advise you on what to do and work out payment plans. They always have a note on the back of bills saying to contact them if you have trouble paying.

This would only be short term as he has a duty to pay his way and cannot just walk out on it all. Are the bills in joint names?

I'm sorry you are going through this

Deepest sympathy for this awful situation...see and talk to CAB

Thank you!!

I wish I didn't have guts to have taken him back. I have family but they live so far away, I'll be moving back in with them soon just need to Tue up loose ends here before I go.

lesson learned indeed. it's such a shame but I'll try to keep my head up for the sake of the kids.

I was a sahm so depended on him completely. won't be making that mistake again.

You live and learn. Some lessons are tougher than others, admittedly, but if you never take a risk, you never make a mistake. The idea of financial dependence always makes my blood run cold... that's why I've never done it. BTW... it's Ok for the DCs to know that you're sad. Children learn all kinds of stuff from us and it also includes how to deal with painful emotions.