Hi it's mine and my husbands relationship. We have been together nearly 4 years been married nearly 18months, He works away which he has done for approx 2 years he does 2 weeks away and a week at home, which is shortly changing to 3 weeks then 1 at home for a couple of months and I work full time and I have 2 kids from previous marriage and he has 2 kids from previous relationship who live with there mam.
I hate the fact that he works away but I know he has to so we can pay bills and he has a job etc, The 2 weeks he works away is awful but I have to get on with it as best I can but I do get upset at times as it's a lonely 2 weeks without him I do try to get as much done in the house we have recently moved to so when he is home I can spend time with him and he doesn't have much to do i do miss him loads so I really look forward to him being at home.
But over the past couple of times he has been home there has been changes he has not been the same he has been reserved towards me if that's the right word no cuddles on the couch, our sex life is not as good as it was, I even thought one night after my shower put my basque on and came downstairs and he never reacted just a smile so I took it back off. It just seems there is something but can not put my finger on it we have argued a few times lately too over the kids and family but I feel I am trying to work through this but he doesn't seem to be helping me, for example there was a family argument after we got married between him and his mum and sister and basically it was a choice me or them they said to him and he chose me which is great but times when we argue he brings this up and I don't know what I am meant to say as he made the decision to stand by me as I am his wife which I would think is the normal thing to do why do you think this is brought up often? Then he says his kids are not made welcome in the house, they are not involved and spoken too then he mentions he doesn't get to see them working away etc etc but I say he can have the option of seeing them every night after school when he is home on his week off but it's not allowed as it disturbs them his ex says also I said change the full day you see them to a Sunday then we are all together but I don't think he will I think it will be kept the same so I feel how can it be normal all working together if we are never all together when they are here and it really upsets me as i don't want devisions but it feels like there is and I don't know how to solve this if he doesn't want to change days to all be together. I just feel that he blames me for them two factors in his life which he left his family home quite a while before meeting me so I can not be to blame surely and it's unfair he says things to me like wish I was as perfect as you or you never do anything wrong, which I disagree we all make mistakes and make the wrong decision I did say it may feel different when he is home to working away as he can go to gym,pub,shops etc etc as nobody else is there to consider in the house he lives in but when he comes home he has to consider the family as the wheel still has to turn and carry on as usual as it's a family home here is that right? We go out together one night when he is home which is on the Saturday night we normally go for a meal then to the local pub for a couple of drinks that's my time alone with no kids which I do enjoy spending that time with him and really look forward to but the last few times it feels like it's been a chore we didn't even go out last time he was home as we were arguing again.
I am just stuck as don't know what to do or say anymore.
Please advise me