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Relationships

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Original poster

Why is he STILL lying?

10 replies

DoomDeer · 13/09/2014 10:05

Ex left me 2 months ago after he told me he no longer loved me, gave me some bull shit about feeling that way for a long time. He's a instantaneous kind of guy, so don't believe a word of it. Anyway there is a long list of lies that have fallen apart and secrets he kept.

He told me he got a prepay credit card(one you put money on to spend on it, to boost his credit score), when clearing out his stuff found the letters which say its a normal credit card with a huge Apr and a £400 limit! Why lie about that?

He applied for a loan on our joint account and didn't tell me, when I pulled him up on it this is when he told me he didn't want to be with me.

He has bought a car, in the last 2 days, turned up to pick dd in it today, I know he has bought the car for £650 as his email came through on the laptop. I asked him where the car came from...cue some bull crap about his dad got it for his sister and is letting him use it. Seriously?! I don't give a crap what he does with his money.

Its the lies that get to me . I hate being lied to, I can't believe I ever trusted this man let alone for 5years!!!

OP posts:

CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/09/2014 10:36

He lies because it's his default setting. He lies the way other people breathe... naturally and without thinking. He lies because he's an insecure, inadequate little man and lying is easier than taking responsibility or having to face up to being a total failure. (I mean... a £650 wreck of a car... piss poor really) When the truth catches up with him one day - and it will - he will disappear up his own arse.

Not your problem any more...

ForalltheSaints · 13/09/2014 15:59

Is he a politician? Many seem not to know the difference between lies and truth?

GloriousGloria · 13/09/2014 16:09

Is he my ex?

He would lie just for the sake of it. Still does, about everything, for no reason at all.

I no longer communicate as no matter what I will not get the truth.

starlight1234 · 13/09/2014 16:18

Can I suggest you sign up for a free trial on experidan and check out exactly what debt is in your name? I hope I am wrong I suspect there may well be a lot more you don't know about.

SunsineAndRainbows · 13/09/2014 16:21

My ex does this over silly things... Things that ain't even worth lying about, it don't make sense but can be really frustrating.

Just try to ignore him, the lies will catch up with him.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 13/09/2014 16:51

Because it's easier than telling the truth.

eeyoreandpooh · 13/09/2014 17:50

I agree with pp, lying is easier than telling the truth, especially if the truth is particularly damaging to the liar. My ex is lying about something massive, he is telling everyone his lie, keeps mentioning in solicitors letters etc, not quite sure what he thinks will happen - that I will suddenly say oh yes, you were right all along it's me that's lying. Who knows, but it would seem lying is the cowards way out cause the truth is too much and means they would have to accept responsibility and say they got it wrong

Lacoba66 · 13/09/2014 18:07

God you do make me chuckle sometimes Cogito!

I think most compulsive liars actually re-write history in their heads, so that no amount of challenging will get them to tell the truth. Or, of course you get a 'version' of the truth that suits them most...

We all tell porkies, but I guess it's to degree that you are willing to go.

OP you are well rid, so don't even let it bother you.

Original poster

DoomDeer · 14/09/2014 09:27

I asked him at drop off why he felt the need to lie to me (after dd had gone to bed) managed to remain calm the entire conversation (yay for me). His reply was that he felt like he could never give me what I wanted (I'm not a money grabbing bitch, in fact the opposite i take pride in getting things for asbcheap as possible) and that he was never good enough.

I told him that he had a false perception of me, I have no problem what he does with his money now I think the car was sensible for his work. What annoyed me most was the lies and that had he been honest with me I wouldnt have lost my trust in him.

Beforehand we had discussed working on our relationship, but its very clear he's given up. I told him he will regret it because right now I'm at the top of my game. I wished him good luck in finding someone who will put up and accept him with all his faults. Oh, and it felt goooooooood.

He left saying he has a lot to think about.

OP posts:

BeforeAndAfter · 14/09/2014 09:39

I think you ought to contact all firms where you have joint bank accounts/credit cards/mortgage and find out how you can stop him going overdrawn / taking out loans / remortgage etc without your express consent. He seems to be devious with money which is not a good sign. My dearest friend was stitched up by her ex who took out loans and remortgaged, all without her knowledge. She was liable for 50% of his recklessness and it took her 10 years to pay it all off.

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