I love and hate him

[MistletoeBUTNOwine]

Too tired/drained to go into more detail.

Just want a magic wand to make him true to himself, or just fucking disappear.

Don't know why I'm posting really. Good to write it down

If someone is untrue to themselves - which I read as messing you around, not committing, blowing hot and cold or something like that - they are unlikely to just disappear unless it's on the end of the toe of your boot.

Hope you're OK

Thank Cogito, it's tough.
I finally had enough of listening to his bullshit last night and told him I wish he'd just disappear.
However now I'm in a situation I don't really know how to manage.
I'm on maternity leave, with zero income for next 3 months. We bought a house together, equal deposit, which we're some way through doing up. This is also equal money. But he's said it's my house now, if I want him out, I'll have to pay the outstanding amounts (about £3k)
And he's taken the last £2.5k out of the joint account saying he will pay one of the builders, who I'm sure we only owe around 1k to...
Basically he's being a twat and I don't know what to do, there's no way I can buy him out.

Have you told anyone IRL what's going on? Are you married to this person? And have you sought legal advice? However twattish someone's being, money's money... and you will gain nothing from hoping for the best.

Not married. Do I need to pay for legal advice? Or CAB?
Could kick myself for getting in this mess

I remember you from previous writings. Things were bad then as well.

No, you do not have to pay to visit the CAB but you may be better off calling some local solicitors instead. Some of them will offer a free 30 minute consultation.

CAB are good as far as it goes but if you're looking at high-value property and there's a contest over ownership then it's probably worth a solicitor's fee. Are you on the deeds? Can you prove you paid the deposit? That's the kind of thing CAB or a solicitor would need.

As for the joint account you're probably too late to save the £2.5k he's trousered but you can inform the bank that there is a dispute and ask them to freeze it. Do you still have a personal account and is your maternity pay/wages paid into it?

There are always options but you'll have to recruit help. RL friends and family can often pull a rabbit out of the hat. Please confide in someone.

I get my wages plus csa for dd into my account, but I'm on the 3 month with no pay part of maternity leave now. No tax credits or child benefit as he earned too much prev tax year
Even once I'm back at work (and he looks after both kids while I'm at work which was the plan) I won't have enough to cover mortgage + bills.
Maybe if he pays maintenance for DS I could scrape it together.
Both of us are on mortgage and deeds.
I do have a friend I can talk to IRL but she's quite busy (runs a guesthouse).
I will arrange to meet up with her soon. Mum is great but just says LTB, and is skint herself

Sadly, there's no easy route from where you are now. This is grown-up stuff and all the choices are tough choices. All you can do is get good advice, be as well-informed as possible and talk to people who support your ultimate decision.