Feeling let down by my family

[Advice451]

Basically I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my first child and I'm in my early 20's.
Been with my partner for 6 years and he's very supportive.
6 weeks ago my grandma (my dad's mum) who I was very very close to fell, banged her head, had a brain haemorrhage and died suddenly. 24 hours later my mum committed suicide. I feel numb. I don't understand the last few weeks of my life or why anything has happened. I have my dad who I'm so amazingly grateful for. However I need my mum and my grandma- especially my mum. She was my best friend. I spoke to her everyday and it's killing me that I didn't know that she was depressed or having these thoughts. Only the night before she cradled me as we mourned the loss of my grandma.
My mum has two sisters, who I was really close to before- especially one. However since this has all happened I can't help but feel they came to the funeral and then got on with their lives as normal. They haven't called, text or anything. I'm not expecting people to put they're lives on hold. But I feel like mines ended and they seem unaffected even though I know they are hurting. I need support, I need someone to tell me how to look after a newborn, to help me get ready, to help me with hospital bags and advice, I need help and I can't understand why they seem distant. How can I bring this up? Or do I just need to accept that I'm on my own now? My mum should be 47 next month, I shouldn't even be writing this.

Even reading this back just makes me want to cry :(

Everyone deals with grief in different ways, they lost the the same two people as you did. I know you think they are not affected but they will be. I think you need to let them know that you need help. You could actually support each other. To be honest I think they would be honoured to help you with your baby. I know I would.

Yes, please talk to them. My grandad died earlier this year and to many I probably look fine but I feel like everything is tainted, nothing has the colour or joy it once did. I may not be crying as much as my other family but I am deeply affected. I found out my sister has been too and we have both been quiet about it. So comforting to know she is having ups and downs too though in private.

So sorry for your loss, I can't begin to imagine how you feel

Oh love, what awful things to face. I'm so sorry ((((hug))))

You are facing enormous things all at once. Have you spoken to your GP about this? You're going to need some support as you grapple with all this.

Could your partner approach your aunts on your behalf to let them know you need them? Our culture is crap at bereavement, or supporting the bereaved; people are so frightened they'll get it wrong they do nothing at all (grrr).

I hope they get it and come to your side at this awful time. Thinking of you, lovely. Take care xxx

I agree with deste. Get in touch with them and tell them how much you need them, this has been horrible for all of you.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think suicide is often a fatal moment of mischance. Have you thought of bereavement counselling?

I agree about getting in touch, but I'd also say that they've lost their sister and are grieving too.

oh my ... I know this never helps when you lose someone you love dearly but I'm so sorry.
I would definitely get in touch, write a letter, a text whatever and tell your aunty's how much you're hurting and how lost you feel. Sometimes families don't want to get in the way and feel that you need time to grieve. Were you close to them before ? If so I should imagine that they are just trying to compute the tragedies that you have all been through recently and perhaps are waiting to hear from you?
I've done this in the past, got upset because someone wasn't there for me and they were feeling just the same.
I guess, at least try and explain how
Much you need them, that way they definitely know you need THEM and gauge whether they will be there for you from their reactions to this.
Sorry OP, my heart goes out to you.