Friend keeps making barbed comments

[cheeseandfickle]

I've been friends with her for several years, and by co-incidence our DDs are at school together and are friends, so I see her each day.

By nature, she is quite a spoilt person; she is the youngest of three children and is still spoilt by her parents even now she is in her thirties. She has quite an entitled attitude, and tends to go on about herself all the time. She gives off the impression of being a silly, ditsy thing but I am thinking more and more that this ditziness is actually deliberate.

She has always made inappropriate, personal comments, but seems to be getting worse with these. I feel as though she is always trying to bring me down a peg or two. She can't ever be happy for me, she has to try to bring me down a bit. This will sometimes come in the form of saying things to embarrass me, or by butting in to a conversation and eye rolling at the other person, and making a "What's she like?" type comment to them, as if I'm stupid. Or she will butt into conversations I am having, and start talking loudly about herself, and make the conversation totally about her, really dominating it.

She has actually really pissed me off in the last couple of days. I have just been on holiday, and yesterday was the kids' first day back at school since we got back. I was speaking to another mum at school collection, and my friend sauntered over and stood there for a moment. The other mum was asking about my holiday and my friend suddenly looked at her, made an eye-rolling face (the type you'd do about a naughty child for example), and said "You'd think they'd have chosen to go somewhere nicer than Spain really wouldn't you? I hate it there" and then proceeded to try to get the other mum to say Spain was awful.

Then today I was once again talking to another mum. Friend came over and said "You've got a lot of spots today" and started touching my face and pulling a disgusted face, then saying to the other mum "Look, she's got loads hasn't she?". As it turns out, I haven't. I barely get spots.

I really don't know what to do about her. I know I have to keep things smiley and amicable as I will still see her each and every day for several years, however I think I need to keep a distance.

She sounds ghastly. It's her problem entirely and not yours, but I'd spend time with other people and not her, to be honest. Keep your distance, thoroughly.

She sounds incredibly insecure and jealous.

I'd cool off the friendship as much as possible, if she starts making comments, walk away.

It sounds like she is jealous of you.

Start saying something there and then....

She sounds horrible. Distance yourself. And say, 'Don't be so bloody rude!'

It could just be that she's not very emotionally aware - says what she sees / thinks / feels - without thinking about the impact on others.

I have a friend like this. But the thing for me is that my friend (apart from being a bit embarrassing in the same way as you describe) is also incredibly loyal and she would go out of her way to do anything to help. So when my dm was ill and in hospital, my friend was the kind of person I could call and ask to help with laundry, or if I was stuck somewhere without a car then she would go miles out of her way to help.

For me it has really been working out a different dynamic in our relationship - what about it makes it mutually good for us both, and then telling her when she really gets things wrong. I had an honest chat with her a couple of weeks ago about something she said, and she was mortified - she just hadn't realised how I felt.

But really, it doesn't matter why she is like this, at the end of the day, if it's not got any positives in it for you, then you have to walk away from the friendship.

I would tell her how rude she is next time she does this and cut her a wide berth

I would do a head tilt and ask if she is feeling ok.

Or tell her to fuck off and stop being so rude.

What about the MN classic? A small pause, then a "did you mean to be so rude?"

What Wallaby said!

You havent mentioned in your post if youve actually confronted her about this? Or have you just stood there whilst shes making these comments? Because shes getting very personal!! Im not a confrontational type of woman, but dear god, i would have said something to this wench by now.

So what if it makes things uncomfortable? Maybe she will leave you alone!

Next time just laugh loudly and say "oh I win we were just taking bets on how long it would take you to say something nasty!"

Why do you call her your friend? She doesn't sound like a friend to me.

Call her out as others here are suggesting, and stop any contact with her bar the unavoidable school gate stuff.

She sounds like a nut job.

I like the suggestion.. I was just wondering how long it would take you to say something nasty given above,

However, she will then probably say 'ooh, you're so defensive'

I don't know how to can break away if you have to meet at the gates everyday. She is spiteful though and you need to cut your losses. She's not s friend at all.