Should I give my family one more chance?

[animalsunited]

I've been no contact with my family for some time now. It's complicated but does involve abuse and lies etc

I had my much wanted third baby recently and also lost the one remaining family member to cancer before he was born.

I've hit a bit of a post baby low recently, after keeping great. One family member is trying to 'Hoover' me back in and although I'm ignoring it I feel low and in tears.

I feel lonely with no family to look after me and spoil my new baby. My in laws are nice but busy with their own thing.

I can't fathom how it all went so wrong. Yes they were emotionally abusive but surely there was some love worth fighting for? But I don't think I can trust them not tohurt me again. I'm so confused.

Time is passing and my baby is growing. As well as my older ones. They really are gorgeous kids and it fills me with sadness and regret that they may never be known or loved by anyone in my family.

I can't stop crying today

Does your partner know you feel this way? Have you spoken to your GP or HV about the low? Could your partner get their parents to step up more and bridge the gap and be more involved? If you're already low and you go back to an abusive family with your heart on a plate, expecting to be spoiled, the danger is that you're likely to be hurt even more.

One question... why do you want your gorgeous, happy kids to be in the path of an abusive, lying family? I'm sure they're much happier without that in their lives

I'm so sorry. It has to be very painful.

I have to honestly say though, that a family with a history of lies and abuse don't sound like they would shower your beautiful children with love like you're imagining it. I think you're probably grieving for the family you would have liked to have.

You're right, I'm just vulnerable at the moment and that's probably why they've contacted me.

My MIL used to bridge the gap but not so much now. I don't feel as close to her as I once did . I think it's because I expect too much from her, to be like a mum and look after me a bit when things are low.

I've never had that and it feels like a huge gaping hole in my life. Will I always feel this way? Go to my grave with resentment?