Cafcass

[queenoftheknight]

Is there ANY point challenging what is in a cafcass report?

They seem to have a very fixed agenda, ie, pro contact with father....whatever the risks, and seem to have no understanding whatever of the dynamics of abusive relationships. Even used the term, "anger management", which rendered me speechless.

If I did The Freedom Programme, why do cafcass staff not do similar?

Do I raise this in court, as it affects MY case, or would I be wasting my time, trying to address a political issue, however much it affects my case? And would I look like a ranting harridan, making my position even worse?

thank you queen, im.sorry for what you are going through too. ive read tons on here and other websites about what a mess the family.courts are. ive even had a top barrister sympathise with me and say he agrees my ex shouldnt be allowed near my dd however the law is unfairly in favour of so called fathers rights - despite claiming to.put children first. i hope one day it will be exposed as the corrupt patriarchal system that it is. they dont care about emotional damage only when there has been serious physical harm to children (even then they can suggest a contact centre). none of these 'proffessionals' have ever met my daughter yet they think they are qualified to make decisions about her life and tell me im a bad parent for not promoting contact!! these services whether it be cafcass or social services treat you like an idiot no matter what.the circumstances are.

Hi OP, I've only had chance to skim read the first page of this but wanted to say that I had a very similar experience of CAFCASS and the family court system.

I found it very confusing, especially as my (lovely) Health Visitor had warned me that I had to get XP out of my home and our lives because his violence towards me (often when baby DS was present) was classed as child abuse, due to obvious negative effects of a child witnessing such behaviour.

The Court and Cafcass seemed to have an entirely different take on the situation (not that they ever consulted the Health Visitor's notes) and I was told many time that just because he had abused me (and admitted to it in Court) he was not necessarily likely to do this to anyone else or a future partner - I think this contradicts most research done into patterns of domestic violence! And they would not take into account the fact that he had broken one previous partner's arm and broken his own hand when he punched another. The Cafcass officer actually told me that his level of domestic violence against me - kicking, grabbing, shoving, throwing chairs at me when I was pregnant - was not "bad enough" for them to consider restricting contact.

XP eventually got the standard package of contact every other weekend with DS. At one point DS was frequently subjected to loud shouting matches between XP and his new partner, indeed DS was expected to look after his younger half-sibling whilst they argued. I don't think DS has actually witnessed any violence but the arguing is bad enough. He says XP does "not take any notice" of him whilst he's there and XP regularly cancels the contact that he told the Court he desperately wanted.

Not surprisingly DS is now choosing to miss weekends with his father whenever he can.

I wish you the best of luck with your situation OP. I don't know what can be done about Cafcass but I think the whole organisation needs retraining on DV!

CAFCASS do have a hard job - when they're hearing a plausible story from one side and a plausible story from the other, and there is no objective evidence either way, you can see why it's not obvious and they reach for the default solution.

I found it infuriating when the CAFCASS report said both my ex and I were making mutual allegations. Well, yes we were, but mine were measured, backed up by school and GP, while his were wild and were disproved over and over. They seemed to adopt an approach that "the truth must be somewhere in the middle", unable to see that one of us was acting reasonably and the other wasn't.

for what it's worth I have actually heard that there has been a reorganisation of CAFCASS and has meant there are lots of temporary people there with less experience, reports are therefore being taken as less important. I'm not sure if it's true and as I'm probably one of the people that's at the beginning of divorce and dealing with ancilliaries and children's agreement which will go to court it doesn't bode well for any of us but I hope that it's not true and CAFCASS will work hard to see that the right thing is done for the children.

Domestic abuse is not really understood by people who have never been through it. For the victim, we constantly question ourselves and are led by others saying you are being abused, however because we have emotional ties to our abuser we simply can't believe that this is going on or that we are being subjected to it. We once had a happy life with a family and all that is now being removed and we are told that it's all our fault. The constant questioning of ourselves and still believing that things can change and hope for a better future keeps us there with our abuser for the sake of the children.

Then one day enough is enough and you realise that this is not a happy life for you, whatever happens you have to make the abuse stop before it finally destroys you and you are no good as a mother or a person. You then turn to all the support framework that you can to help you find the strength to fight your abuser and remove him from your life as best you can and finally lead that happy life. Although you will be solely responsible for your children and there will also be tough times ahead, it is better than the abuse you are suffering now. It's not what you deserve, you deserve to have had a wonderful husband taking 50/50 share in your house and your children and to have led a wonderful life together but sadly that's not on the cards and now you have to fight for your happiness.

We should be able to lean on that support framework to help us through this tough time and emerge happy on the other end. queenoftheknight I truly hope this comes good for you, you have my support (mine isn't as bad as yours but still we have to judge what is right or wrong not judge whether the bad is more or less than others it's just wrong behaviour). Keep on going and be as tough as you can, sunshine is waiting for you on the other end.

take care.

Biblio- your post reminded me of another absurdity that cafcass have come out with 'Mr x and ms x need to put their differences aside' !! If it was that bloody easy we wouldnt be going through all this! Again totally missing the abuse element...

Well....cafacss didn't even manage to send the report to court. We had to sit and wait for an email, so the magistrates didn't really have time to digest it anyway.

Incompetent.

The court decided we should sort it all out for ourselves.

What a colossal waste of time, and energy, and cortisol.

It is an absolute farce, and potentially extremely dangerous.

Yes, wobbly and exactly the same faulty reasoning affects the revised new arrangements for collecting child maintenance. Resident parents have to pay if they want CMS to collect, as an incentive to work it out. DO YOU THINK WE HAVEN'T SPENT YEARS TRYING?

Ahem, sorry for shouting.

Sorry that you had a bad experience, Queen. I hear you on the waste of time, energy and cortisol! In my case, it was a waste of a hell of a lot of money too. All I would say is that if the dcs are currently living with you, and you can show that you're offering reasonable access, in many ways you are in the driving seat. It does mean that there is no buffer between you and having to deal with an abusive man, however.

I spoke to The Freedom Programme people, and discussed the possibility of Pat Craven herself contacting the court official. Which would be amazing.

So sorry to read what happened in court queen, have they totally dismissed the case then? If you could get pat craven on board that would be amazing, although dont think theyd be allowed to have anything to do with your specific case as it is private court (even MPs have limited input) .

I spoke to someone at IDAC, who suggested Pat Craven, obviously it would be general and not in relation to this particular case.

I have a meeting on Monday with family support, the same woman who facilitated the FP that I did. We will try and come up with some kind of strategy.

The danger is that he will try and use this as a way of hoovering and manipulating his way back in. From here, I know that, but when you're in it, it is so hard to keep that perspective and not believe the bullshit.

I am just glad I didn't waste a couple of thousand pounds on a solicitor.

We have to go back in a couple of months to let the court know "how we're getting on". So I feel I have that time to attempt to impart some information on the dangers of abuse...gaslighting, lying, manipulation etc, specifically on children.

I am so exhausted, and on the verge of tears..ALL the time.