Hi conway, I know it's going to be horrid for a while, especially as it's you, not him, taking the decision to divorce. He will be very upset and angry. If you're in fear of attack do not hesitate to ring the police.
The best advice I can is to not get into rows if you can in anyway avoid it. Once you've decided you want out, it doesn't matter one jot who is to blame, it is just a legal process of getting out of marriage.
When you divorce people are full of indignation and blame. All sorts of threats will be made.
But divorce ends this. It can be a very straightforward "think of it as a box-ticking exercise". If you can keep yourself calm and focused, you can ignore anything he says or does (not easy to do admittedly).
Remind yourself you've decided to divorce because you are so unhappy. It is your decision to end the marriage and you have given it a great deal of thought. You felt coerced in to staying last time.
If he makes threats about schooling - say that's a matter to be dealt with later when it comes to separating the assets and arranging contact. Be firm that you don't need to sort out any agreements whilst things are so raw.
If you can, just remain very calm and just keep repeating - I'm sorry but I can't continue in this marriage. Don't react to any threats - they may well be baseless so presume 'I'll believe it when I see it" in your head.
Don't try and get anything resolved in the short term - give him time to calm down and reflect.
In a way, you have to be 'holier than thou' in the early stages as a survival mechanism until one of you can find alternative housing arrangements (which solicitors will advise against you).
One idea is, if you have a spare room, then turn it in to a 'studio' type room with a small TV, armchair etc which you can effectively hibernate in if need be.
Remember divorce ends! A shit marriage never does. You don't say how old the kids are, and I'm sure people around here, have done this too so if you want to give more info, people can tell you about their experiences.