What would you do?

[SunshineandGin]

I'm 28 been with my boyfriend for about 5 years we had a bit of a bad patch a couple of years ago where I actually broke up with him, he'd got so busy with work I could feel I was just being more and more ignored and couldn't take it anymore.
He asked if we could try again to make it work because he really loved me and I said yes because I love him but if I was getting into it again with him then it was because we'd decided to really give it a go and I was completely up front with him that getting serious meant marriage and babies and that's what was important to me and he agreed.
Now nearly two years on from that he's hit another busy patch with work again and getting more distant again. We're on holiday now and he's on his phone most of the time still. I asked him about where we're at and he's now saying he doesn't know if he ever wants to get married and even if he does at least not for another 10 years!
I want to get married it's really important to me but I do love him. He's saying that he doesn't want me making him do something he doesn't want to ie get married but now it feels like I'm having to make a choice between staying with him and potentially never getting married or having children or leaving him and hoping that I'll meet someone who does want to marry me.
I love him even though it's not the easiest relationship but I can't imagine being without him either and he says he really loves me but he's just a bloke and doesn't know how to show it.
Sorry it's so long.

Sorry to hear you are going through this.

Do you think he would consider going to couples counselling with you? It's not just for married people and it could help you both decide where you are headed, even if it means that it leads to you breaking up.

I think expecting you to wait 10 years for a marriage which may or may not happen is too long. That would make you at the youngest 38 when trying for your first baby, which is not really ideal.

How would you feel if after 10 years of the marriage carrot being dangled in front of you he turned to you and said he didn't ever want to marry you?

Personally I don't see how you can go forward when you have such fundamental different visions of the future.

I've seen people I know go through a similar experience and they ended up broken hearted and unmarried.

You are only 28 not 58, you have plenty of time to meet someone else. If you do decide to leave him you will meet someone else. If I were you I'd be looking for slightly older and more mature men who are actually marriage minded.

I wish you all the best.

When two people want very different things and see the future very differently, no amount of 'love' is going to bridge the gap sadly. He's telling you to put your plans on hold for 10 years and that's a massive risk to take at your age. You broke up once and caved in after promises that turned out to be fake..... Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Suggest you don't let him fool you twice.