For many many reasons that I don't think I have the energy to go into DH and I have decided to cut his toxic and narcissitic sister out of our lives. We have fallen out over the weekend and she is point blank refusing to take any blame for her actions (we've taken blame for ours) and is constantly making personal attacks and insults. This isn't the first time this has happened, but it's about ten times more unpleasant than before. It has broken our hearts that it has come to this, but she is not the least bit bothered about losing touch with us and our DD (her words).
She has 2 teenage daughters, my nieces who we love dearly. I expect them to take their mother's side (she has involved them in the argument) but I still hope they come to see us like they often do on a weekly basis. We also have a baby nephew, but I accept because of his age we won't see him as we'd need to see SIL too. Our daughter thinks the world of her aunty but is young enough to 'forget' her, and SIL isn't fussed about losing touch with her so I think my DD deserves better anyway.
Anyway my question is - how do we cope in a situation like this? DH and I have felt numb all weekend and our heads are all over the place. I've never actively cut anyone out my life before and it's not a decision we've taken lightly. It actually makes me feel sick, as historically we've got on very well with her, but this is one argument too far and the way she has treated us this weekend is disgusting. Her behaviour has become increasingly worse over the last year or so and we've had enough.
She lives round the corner, we are close to the other ILs, I'm not sure we can physically avoid her. I have already come off facebook (can't be doing with cryptic status updates that are being posted, wondering if they're about me, and don't want to rock the boat by deleting her as a friend). We have deletd her number (DH has gone as far as blocking it) and deleted all the unpleasant messages that have gone back and forth over the last few days. I don't want that negatvity in my life.
Has anyone got any advice on how to cope? I just feel quite sick at the moment and incredibly sad over the whole situation. What do we tell family? I know she'll probably spin a story to them to suit her case but even if we could be bothered putting our side across we wouldn't be that candid, it's between her and us. Has anyone done this and made contact again at a later date, which has been successful? If she apologised and admitted she was wrong I'd love to build bridges but she's extremely stubborn and as she said its 'not gonna happen'.
In a word - Help!