new man but ED - what to do?

[catkin14]

I have been seeing a new man for around 8 months.
We get on very well, lot of common ground, have some good times etc.

But he has ED, he says its just a matter of time and its because we are new to each other...although this has been a problem for a lot of his life.
After 8 months I dont feel we are that new to each other?
Pills dont help him.

I dont want to live like this, I know it isnt me but the feeling of not being desired is not doing me any good at all, (been through a bad divorce after years of EA etc).

We are both in mid life, kids grown up and either left home or close to. I feel we should be able to be spontaneous and be having amazing or at least good sex, but there is nothing from him, just a hug and a kiss, and if I try to initiate anything he just backs off.
He says he doesnt want anyone else.

I like him so much but despite his promises nothing seems to change and Im beginning to feel used..
Is there anything I can do to help him or do I need to say goodbye?
Such a shame, such a decent man..

Can you see your future continuing like this?

It sounds not.

i hate to say it but it sounds like this is so ingrained in him that he has given up even trying to do anything, if he hadnt given up he would explore different ways of making love interesting even if penetration isnt possible, a hug and kiss is what i get from my daughter, my last guy had Ed problems but oh my god he made up for it in other ways and was fantastic in bed

No I know I dont want a life without sex, and we have talked about this and so he knows this.
There is no effort on his part to touch me in any way other than the hug and kiss bit.
It feels more like a friendship which is good on one hand but not what I am after from a relationship.

If it really is ED, then the vast majority of cases are based upon physical problems and can be resolved positively. A very quick Google will tell you that.

Are you sure it's ED he's suffering from, because I can't see past his lack of affection / more like a friendship position. You say pills dont work, I presume you are talking about Viagra? Because this should work IF his head is into the idea of you two actually having intercourse. If he isn't into this plan, then it's more likely a mental barrier than a physical one.

Good luck OP. You need to talk, communicate with him, find out what the problem is.

It must be hard for you.

My DP has ED. Medication does work for him though, what is your DP taking?

Based on my personal experience and hearsay, ED caused by a new relationship lasts a few weeks, not eight months. I've only known one girlfriend who has experienced long term ED and the story sounds just like yours in the sense that she was assured it would get better. It did not. I don't like the lack of touching to be honest; that does not bode well - so sorry but I think you have a tough decision to make.

Has he even let you near the little fella?

GP has told him that there is no physical problem so yes it is in his head.
he has viagra but no luck..
Polonium - if only it were!
snoogyWoo - once yes

I think now there is such expectation on my part and such fear on his, for whatever reason, that it is pretty much doomed.