Coiming to terms with the fact that my marriage is over

[5toocoolforschool]

I am on the verge of splitting up with dh,we haven’t really been getting on for a couple of years really,but its got worse since out 5th child was born a year ago.

He never wants to spend time with me,he says its because hes too tired from work but he still manages to go out with his friends a few times a week.He never wants to go anywhere with me and literally wont speak to me at all unless i talk to him.

Im so sad,i keep thinking of things i could do to change to make him happier,and ive told him what i need him to do but he just refuses to change and says he will always be like this.He wants us to try living apart but staying together,but im not sure i can see the point.

I cant stop crying,i don’t know what to do,im angry at myself for not trying harder and im angry at him for.....im not sure what for really,for not being a normal (i know normal isn’t the best word ) husband who actually wants to spend time with me.I know hes extra angry at the moment because ive decided to send the kids to school,we were going to home school them but i have 5 children under 7 and i am finding it so hard,i feel they would be better off in school.I’m sick of the pressure he is putting me under about it.

I meant coming obviously grrr

No amount of 'trying' on your part can make someone spend time with you if they're determined not to. That bit about the home-schooling - you trying to be teacher to five kids and look after a 1 year old baby at the same time? - makes him sound completely unhinged all by itself. What was the big idea behind that? Keep you trapped in four walls all day with no life of your own? 'Living apart but staying together'... isn't that what he's already doing?

I think you're in an abusive relationship with a controlling bully and I think you should get urgent legal and practical advice. Womens Aid can be reached on 0808 2000 247

You've posted about this before, haven't you? Do take the advice above.

Really?Ive never thought of it as that,i would of thought someone would of said that to me before now.

Yes humble have done quite a few threads about this and other things linked to this.

Never thought of it as an abusive relationship you mean?

Yes not really,although that might be to do with me not having confidence in my own feelings,i always assume im in the wrong,once someone says i am,im not sure if that makes sense!?

I dont feel like im being abused,im not scared of him or anything.Im not scared to tell him how i feel or anything.