email from friend's DH

[giroux]

Hi - some advice needed. Long term MNer & oftentimes lurker here, nc for obvious reasons.

I have a very good friend, who has been a great support to me and my DCs during my divorce, but we were great friends even before my marriage collapsed.

Her and her husband have a notoriously unhappy marriage. That is none of my business and her and I never discuss her marital woes, although she does with two other mutual friends. I am happy to not discuss it with her bc i don't want to be the poster girl for bad marriages just cos mine ended in divorce!!

Our DCs are VERY close friends. I invited them all round for dinner this weekend, which is normal. Two days ago i got this email from her DH.Should I tell her? Telling her is my instinct because i feel secretive and like a liar if i don't mention it. Or will that destroy my friendship with her (which is selfish of me)

Hi Giroux,
Thanks for the dinner invite. Not sure if i will make it. Mostly since i am hoping WIFE might actually talk to you. She'll deny it for years, but things quite terrible with us. And she'd shoot me for writing this too.
Sounds like you are doing great - and that is wonderful.
Best,
HUSBAND

Marvellous, Humble. Missed a world again. Not 'wife is Giroux', but 'wife is with Giroux. [shakes head despairingly]

He is trying to make himself look like the reasonable one.

I wouldn't focus on the email. I'd focus on helping your friend get away from him.

What happens if she doesn't have sex with him?

"Two week break after having children?!"

Jesus I hope she didn't have stitches, I've had vaginal surgery 4 weeks ago and still the thought of sex makes me wince, poor woman was forced to do so after two weeks!

The idea of a 'sex contract' makes me feel queasy. Tell your friend about the e-mail. Poor her and poor DC. A very high price to pay.