Save or spend

[1Cheesedoff]

Do you save or spend?, How much do you feel is enough saved to treat yourselves. I have had this conversation with a few friends and discovered most husbands like to save for retirement instead of living for today. What would you be content to have saved without feeling guilty for spending on car, furniture or holiday.

@Badvoc123. I'm sorry you lost your DF and your DM is widowed but life goes on and having money means more options than having none. Whether it's going on singles holidays with other people in a similar situation or whether it's needing long-term care in later years, she's going to be glad of the cash.

I like to think i'm a bit of both. My parents are extremes, Dad has 1000's in the bank but is quite tight with himself and other people while Mum spends like there is no tomorrow and expects everyone to bail her out when the bills come in.

I put £400 a month into savings but still enjoy eating out, holidays and days out. A bit of each is my motto

Yeah, my FIL was a brilliant saver (where DH gets it from, tbh) but died tragically a month after retirement. MIL has never gotten over it.

BUT he left her a pot of money and half his pension. She goes on about 3 holidays a year with various friends. She's on a cruise right now! It has helped enormously. Every time she gets depressed, she plans another holiday. Thats all because of him - she never had any income at all.

I shudder to think of her widowhood spent in a freezing cold house, worrying about heating bills.

we are budgeters and savers, dh 's main goal is early retirement and leaving the rat race. This is now in sight (18 months) . With pension not kicking in for 10 years we are saving enough to live off. Low grade cars, not much eating out ( relative to other people I know) , obv no cigarettes etc. We do spend on holidays as relaxing is our main aim, 4 or 5 weeks a year now, hopefully 52 weeks a year soon.

Our budget spreadsheet is our guide!

I am single late forties having scrabbled back into the job market post divorce

I am a saver because I know any bills are going to have to be met by me and life is more expensive when all household costs must be covered by one salary. It's only fairly recently I've come to realise being single is an expensive business !

Fortunately I am naturally fairly frugal and enjoyed an extravagant lifestyle while married and feel quite happy leaving all that behind me.

I do think about about the save v spend issue in terms of what if I die soon all that saving will be wasted but in the end I think but what if I don't though. Anyway my DC would benefit so that's ok with me.

Cog...no, sorry.
She hates the money and everything it represents.
She has become bitter and hateful.
It's awful really.

I do take your point and it is one I have made to her, but....all she says is how hard dad worked (still ft up to his death) and how much she regrets it all.
:(

Is it a recent bereavement?

14 months.

We each put half our wages into our joint account, a quarter into separate savings accounts and a quarter we spend on whatever we like. Anything left is put into savings xx